Class 4 & Sense Of Belonging

"No one knows except for both of us" sings Alanis in her track "Hands Clean" as I was getting home today.

I am brooding over this topic of belonging, rather of love and longing I am tempted to say but that would deserve a writing of its own at a later time. I have done this (brood over it) many times before and even have a special term that I attribute to most of my close friends.The class 4 type.I forgot what would constitute the first 3 classes but I definitely know that "Class 4" is a special type of people who have no sense of belonging whatsoever in this world.Kind of rootless.

Now why would this be an asset.Think about it. "The only people who see the whole picture are the ones who step out of the frame" said Rushdie in "The Ground Beneath Her Feet". These are people who step outside to grab a snapshot of the whole picture only to find that they cannot be the same when they get back in.Probably because as Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.”

This is opportune time for wondering because some of my pals are gonna get hitched soon. I wonder if they would regain their sense of belonging with the help of their spouses. I heartily wish it were so. This is the sense that drives likeminded people to form strong social support structure.The examples that come to my mind are

(a) Ever seen a Smoker bum a cigarette from another or the way they share a light. Now thats a sense of belonging to the same spirit (I dont know if the conspiracy is to smoke out the world!)

(b) Catchers of a Running Bus in India : Back home I was always helped by those in the footboard help me board the bus when I was running real hard to catch a bus movin at 25-40 Kmph. A special sense of acheivement accompanies once you board or alight.(Alighting the running bus is a telepathic activity by syncronizing the thought so a few persons getting together at the same place within a span of minutes!).Bikes and Cars destroyed this these days...

(c) Clans : Either by Caste, Creed or religious denomination, people have this feeling of camarederie that makes it easy to lend a helping hand to another member. No more attention needed on this as this is a very widely recognized phenomenon.

And you can add your own to this list but you see the pattern. In a given typical day you navigate through many of these "federated belongingdoms" as easily as the breeze running over a lake.

Of all these people definitely hold one or two of them very close to their heart.Say Family and Friends or a particular relative or even a pet.These "Class 4" types are the ones who keep that spot vacant but they do enjoy bonding with other "Class 4" types as they know that it would come with no strings attached and the best part is they pick up where they left( inspite of a large gulf of time separating their last bonding moment!). This is not to say that they dont enjoy the company of others or something.It is to say that they are like mercury (neither metal nor non-metal and hence "metalloid" or if you prefer like water on lotus) where they d have a touch but not really attachment.

In "The Ballad of the Reading Gaol" there is a nice stanza

"Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!"

In that sense these "Class 4" type are very brave.On their face they would laugh this off with some witty remark or some humorous repartee but inside they know that given the same situation again they would come to the same conclusion. While the word altruistic does not exactly match the character Sydney Carton epitomises one of the ideals these types live by in his memorable final words

"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done;
it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known,"

I believe they have made their own finite corner in this infinite universe.Kudos to them.