Ruminations

Remember the first days in a new school? My pop used to get transferred every 3 years or so and hence became used to it. A New school and a New place. The last time I ever cried saying farewell to friends and got bitter for leaving a comfort zone was in Madras (Yeah! It used to be called that instead of Chennapatnam as in my grandpa's time or Chennai as in these days) circa 1987. I guess after that I got de-sensitized to those kind of issues.(some call that growing up and I call that loss of childhood). First thing you need to fight for (or rather wrestle out of people) ,is acceptance. Just like the fraternities having an initiation rite, there always exists an unwritten one. At the new residence you need to prove that to your neighbors and in school you gotta do something else that would be called kick-ass or "cool" as they say these days. (I love the way the flick "Anjali" depicts this situation of acceptance among an apartment community)

Switching Gears a bit, there exists a similar rite of initiation into a new job when you get in one. First off, its a bit more subtle because no one says it on your face about it but word gets around.ALl the screw-ups or anything that makes a good story instantly spread like a fire. Slowly, as people get some clarity of your charter at the workplace and everyone (well, not every one but most folks that work directly with you ) makes sure that you make it to their list of "approved" folks for the job. Yes. I think I can safely make the claim that now I have arrived at this new firm.

Ruminating about childhood seems very instructive these days (atleast for me). Given a new situation where you had to solve a problem never seen before, the very first thing I recollect is that when I was a kid there was nothing like "fear" but only "curiosity".Luckily when you are a new kid on the block there is no fear of making a fool of yourself and your curiosity (though irritating at times) helps people see some things in a fresh perspective. All you need to do is preserve your child like curiosity about the things the way there and play. The only difference here is that people play hard, work hard and the consequences also come down hard on you just in case you slip.So far I have never been this productively occupied and having fun at the same time.I'll drink to that.Just like music is something of a state between tension and release of strings, my life seems to flow in different tunes between a tense and relaxed situations.Its pure harmony in between.

When I was a kid, I liked to paint but couldnt do it properly. My solution to that was to draw something and instead of coloring it, I took a toothbrush, dip it into the water color and then do a spray paint. This has the defect that I couldt control the colors at the borders but the result was much better than me doing the colors the conventional way.

I am looking forward to my upcoming trip home. I have committed to buying a house back in hometown. I think that marks a clear transition of a boy to man.Hmmm...Not sure about that but feels great hearing some elated voices from home. It will be quite a trip that I will be looking forward to. Somehow things are just like the way Bob Dylan sings in

"Come gather round people wherever you roam
And admit that the waters around you have grown
And accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth saving
Then you'd better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone
For the times, they are a changing"

Bob Dylan always leads me t think of Dylan Thomas.( I am told he was named after the welsh poet).Here's a nice excerpt from "And Death Shall have no Dominion"

"No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Through they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion."

I think I can utilize this "copious" free time in some other way as well. Adios!