Thursday, November 24, 2005


Just finished watching "Coffee and Cigarettes". Left me thinking the same pattern that I thought after reading "Waiting for Godot". Someone wrote to me in an email about "Existential Angst", guess that person should go watch this movie.(Under my breath much like someone says "Useless Fellow" : Damn those Existentalists)

On the other hand I have seen an exactly polar opposite of this film is "Monsieur Ibrahim" which had some sufi stuff in it apart from some neat concepts.Though it had some parallels to a "Scent of a Woman", doesnt quite it make it to that scale nor the punch of it.Nevertheless this movie made me think(I still have it on my to-do list) of doing a dervish for an hour or so atleast.

On a different note, I had to drop a couple of priests to the airport during this week and man, it was ugly. I tried to poke them around theological grounds and all they wanted to talk was of immigration status,citizenship,home ownership, desperate housewives and the sort. Anyways wonder on what ground they claim the west to be materialistic when they themselves encourage nothing but materials in terms of asking for wishes.So much for Salvation.

Happy Thanksgiving to those residing in the U.S.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Learnt to understand some things that I dont respect and by converse respect things that I dont understand.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


Remember the first days in a new school? My pop used to get transferred every 3 years or so and hence became used to it. A New school and a New place. The last time I ever cried saying farewell to friends and got bitter for leaving a comfort zone was in Madras (Yeah! It used to be called that instead of Chennapatnam as in my grandpa's time or Chennai as in these days) circa 1987. I guess after that I got de-sensitized to those kind of issues.(some call that growing up and I call that loss of childhood). First thing you need to fight for (or rather wrestle out of people) ,is acceptance. Just like the fraternities having an initiation rite, there always exists an unwritten one. At the new residence you need to prove that to your neighbors and in school you gotta do something else that would be called kick-ass or "cool" as they say these days. (I love the way the flick "Anjali" depicts this situation of acceptance among an apartment community)

Switching Gears a bit, there exists a similar rite of initiation into a new job when you get in one. First off, its a bit more subtle because no one says it on your face about it but word gets around.ALl the screw-ups or anything that makes a good story instantly spread like a fire. Slowly, as people get some clarity of your charter at the workplace and everyone (well, not every one but most folks that work directly with you ) makes sure that you make it to their list of "approved" folks for the job. Yes. I think I can safely make the claim that now I have arrived at this new firm.

Ruminating about childhood seems very instructive these days (atleast for me). Given a new situation where you had to solve a problem never seen before, the very first thing I recollect is that when I was a kid there was nothing like "fear" but only "curiosity".Luckily when you are a new kid on the block there is no fear of making a fool of yourself and your curiosity (though irritating at times) helps people see some things in a fresh perspective. All you need to do is preserve your child like curiosity about the things the way there and play. The only difference here is that people play hard, work hard and the consequences also come down hard on you just in case you slip.So far I have never been this productively occupied and having fun at the same time.I'll drink to that.Just like music is something of a state between tension and release of strings, my life seems to flow in different tunes between a tense and relaxed situations.Its pure harmony in between.

When I was a kid, I liked to paint but couldnt do it properly. My solution to that was to draw something and instead of coloring it, I took a toothbrush, dip it into the water color and then do a spray paint. This has the defect that I couldt control the colors at the borders but the result was much better than me doing the colors the conventional way.

I am looking forward to my upcoming trip home. I have committed to buying a house back in hometown. I think that marks a clear transition of a boy to man.Hmmm...Not sure about that but feels great hearing some elated voices from home. It will be quite a trip that I will be looking forward to. Somehow things are just like the way Bob Dylan sings in

"Come gather round people wherever you roam
And admit that the waters around you have grown
And accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth saving
Then you'd better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone
For the times, they are a changing"

Bob Dylan always leads me t think of Dylan Thomas.( I am told he was named after the welsh poet).Here's a nice excerpt from "And Death Shall have no Dominion"

"No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Through they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion."

I think I can utilize this "copious" free time in some other way as well. Adios!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

All about Smiley's - Part I

Someone forgot that there are so many ways to express something using a smiley.In such a case here is a list of different ways to express a smiley.Imagine how many different possibilities exist in real world then?
:) Smiling, happy faces; don't take me too seriously
Midget smiley
Cheshire cat smile
User is a midget
Smilie without a nose
Normal face

:-) Smiling, happy faces; don't take me too seriously
Your basic smiley
Ha ha
Willie Shoemaker
"We are all, each of us, alone"
Smiley standard
The normal smiling face
User is an orator
Happy user
Just kidding or happy
I'm a gentleman
User is nosy

:> Smiling, happy faces; don't take me too seriously
Midget smiley
Hmm, let me think...
User is a midget
Devilish Grin
Sharp smile

;) Winking happy faces (something said tongue-in-cheek)
Midget Wink

;-) Winking happy faces (something said tongue-in-cheek)
Wink (or wink and a smile)
Winking smiley
"If you touch my daughter again, they won't be blanks"
A practical joker who played one too many and got beat up
Beaten up
Could be pirate smiling face??
Crying with happiness
Getting fresh
Sardonic incredulity
Smiling face gets his lights punched out
User is making a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark

;> Winking happy faces (something said tongue-in-cheek)
Midget wink
Saucy wink

B-) Smiling face from a person wearing glasses
Smiling and wearing glasses or sunglasses
Message from Batman
User wears horn-rimmed glasses
"Holy trichinosis!"
"I pray daily for death"
"Let's do the beach, man!"
User is ready for the beach
Cool or sunglasses
Ski glasses

8-) Smiling face with a wide-eyed look
Smile with glasses
Smiling and wearing glasses
Wide-eyed look
User is wearing sunglasses
Smiley swimmer
Smiley with big eyes...perhaps wearing contact lenses
"I was the second gunman"
Bug-eyed smilie
Eight!?! (happy)

8-( Unhappy smiley
Wide-eyed unhappy smiley
Eight!?! (unhappy)

:D Wider happy face (or Minstrel singers)
Big smile

:-D Wider happy face (or Minstrel singers)
Big mouth
User is laughing (at you!)
Big smile
Said with a smile
Talking too much
User is a blabber mouth
Laugh-happy user

:-o "Oh, nooooooo!" (a la Mr. Bill)
User singing national anthem
Uh oh!
Surprise / shocker
"Oh, the humanity!"
Mr. Bill
More versions of shouting

:-( Sad or disappointed face
Frowning smilie.
Boo hoo
"I will start with those you love most"
Has read too many 'smiley' articles
Sad face, 'that comment makes me sad (mad)'
Sad user
Depressed of frowning
"Have an ordinary day"

:-P Tongue stuck out
Wider happy face (or Minstrel singers)
Nyah nyah
"I have a longer tongue than Gene Simmons"
Has a secret to tell you
Telling secrets
Tongue hanging out in anticipation
User is wanting to lick your neck
Keeping a straight face (tight-lipped)

:-J Tongue in cheek
Tongue-in-cheek comments

:-# Message concerning something that shouldn't have been said
User wears braces
"My lips are sealed"
Mouth zipped
Punched in the mouth
Talking with Braces
Blowing a kiss

:-$ Message indicating person is ill
Put your money where your mouth is
Smiley face with it's mouth wired shut
"These braces sure do hurt!"
Mouth wired shut
Sellout (does NOT rhyme with zealot!)
Jewish user

:-& Message indicating person is angry
User is tongue tied
Smiley which is tongue-tied
User eating spaghetti

:-* Kiss...
Oooops (covering mouth with hand)
User just ate a sour pickle
User just ate something sour
Smiley after eating something bitter
After eating something bitter or sour
Blowing a kiss

:-x Kiss kiss
"My lips are sealed" smiley
"My lips are sealed"
Not telling any secrets
User kissing
Blowing a kiss

:-(=) Message from a person with big teeth.
Message about people with big teeth
Bucktooth smiley
Big teeth

<:-) Dumb questions For dumb questions User is Vietnamese peasant Hero user Dunce Magician Skier -( Late night messages Nightmare. Smiley lost his contact lenses Asleep with nightmares Yawn :^) From a person with a large nose Messages teasing people about their noses User has a broken nose Smiley with pointy nose (righty) Smiley with a personality 3/4 view of person with elf-type sharp nose Broken nose Happy :*) Clowning around Smile with moustache I'm drunk User is drunk Ed McMahon Drunk smiling face Everyman Smilie with the nose of a clown :-{#} From a person with braces Messages teasing people about their braces User is sick of messages teasing people about their braces &:-) From a person with curly hair Messages from people with curly hair Curly hair User is Guinan Wig II @:-) From a person with wavy hair User is wearing a turban Smiley wearing a turban Indian (East/Asian) Elvis A turban #:-) From a person with matted hair Done by someone with sort of matted hair "Everything you know is wrong" For people whose hair is in a mess User has a crewcut Smilie with a fur hat Happy with Hair O:-) Angel For those innocent souls Angel smiley Acting very innocent (halo) With halo C=:-) Chef User is a chef Chef smiley Galloping Gourmet ;-)} Corporate-type guy (see the necktie?)

:-) )-: Masking theatrical comments

:-K- Formal message
User is formally attired
Evening dress

<:>== A turkey
A turkey emoticon

...---... S.O.S.

O­O A guy is mooning you

O:O A girl is mooning you

@*&$!% You know what that means...

2B^2B Message about Shakespeare
"Forty Seconal should suffice"

(O--<>-- A rose.

@>+-+-- A rose.

@>-->-- A rose.

---<---@ A rose. @}-,-'-- A rose. @}-;--`--- A rose. @>--->---- A rose.

@}--;---`---- A rose.

@}`,---------- A rose.

@}-^---,------ A rose.

@}-->---->---- A rose.

@}--)----)---- A rose.

@)--`---,----- A rose.

@}--<---<----- A rose. @}--`----,---- A rose. @}----`----^-- A rose. @}----->------ A rose.

@(---`--`------ A rose.

@},`----------- A rose.

@}--,--`------- A rose.

@--^--^--^--^------ A rose.

(-_-) Secret smile
User is happy (sideways)

(.)(.) Ms. Dos
User has big boobs

:/) Not funny

:-))) Reeeel happy, big smile
I'm overweight
William Conrad

:-> Alternate happy face
User just made a really biting sarcastic remark.
Hey hey
Sarcastic smiley
Biting sarcastic face
Deformed lips
Yet another smiley
User just made a really devilish remark
Very Glad/Pleased/Very Happy
Smiley walrus

:-c Real unhappy
Bummed out smiley

:-C Unbelieving (jaw dropped)
User is really bummed
Real unhappy smiley
Dracula user
Count Dracula

:-< o=" A" face =":-)="> Message concerning rubber chickens

>< ><>-< i="=">:-) Devil
Nasty user
A little devil

>;-) Devilish Wink

:-)## Guy with a Beard

@:-)## Guruka Singh Khalsa

&:-] Overly Handsome Self-Portrait of the Uploader w/Square Jaw

&8-] Overly Handsome Self-Portrait of the Uploader w/Square Jaw

@@B-) Bouffant Woman with Catseye Frame Glasses

(8-} Percy Dovetonsils

>-) Oriental Smiling Face
An alien

&B-]} Another corporate-type with aviator glasses, wavy hair &amp;amp; tie.

O!O A MALE moon


;8-) Hagar caught lying

7:^] I resemble Ronald Reagan
Ronald Reagan

*<:-) I'm Santa Claus Santa Claus (Ho Ho Ho) )-:<* Sanity Clause [:-) I'm wearing a walkman Smiley wearing a walkman Listening to walkman User has a flattop Frankenstein user Garibaldi from Babylon 5 (author says note the flat top) User is wearing a hard-hat A personal stereo Frankenstein's monster d:-) I'm a Braves fan Message about baseball Baseball smiley Baseball player Smilie with a cap Jockey A baseball cap :-\ Popeye smiling face Undecided smiley User is VERY sad Thinking Skeptical ;-\ Popeye gets his lights punched out Popeye beaten up :-s User after a BIZARRE comment Smiley after a BIZARRE comment Confused -:-) User sports a mohawk and admires Mr. T User is a punk rocker Has mohawk :%)% User has acne :n) User with funny-looking right nose Smiley with funny-looking right nose :u) User with funny-looking left nose Smiley with funny-looking left nose '-) User only has a left eye, which is closed Winking smiley One eyed man (-: User is left-handed Australian Don Ellis from Tektronix Left-handed (-) User needs a haircut (:I Egghead User is an egghead {:-) Smiley with its hair parted in the middle Kirk User wears a toupee Smiley wears a toupee New hair style +:-) Smiley priest Priest smiley Priest =:-) Smiley punk-rocker From a hosehead Smiley is a punk Punk rocker User is a dickhead %-^ User is Picasso Picasso User was painted by Picaso @:I Turban (><) Anally retentive :-! Foot in mouth Smiley bland face Bland face Malcom McUser Excited/Exclaiming #-) Partied all night Lt. LaForge Zombie :-(*) About to vomit That comment made me sick Sick of netnews articles, about to vomit %-\ Hungover :-)8 Well dressed Man with bowtie Thespian :-)-{8 From a big girl User is a big girl :x( Habe a code in by dose 8:] From a gorilla Gorilla (:)-) Scuba diver Likes to scuba dive Scuba diving (-::-) Siamese twins {:V Sounds like a duck %+{ From the loser of a fight Lost a fight d :-) Hats off to your great idea q:-) For those who wear their caps backwards Wearing baseball cap backwards User is a baseball player Baseball catcher Rapper >:- Spock

:-/ McCoy
User is skeptical
Lefty undecided smiley
Retarded user

:-{)} Commander Riker

<>:{(} Lt. Worf

**:-) Counsellor Troi

]) Lt. LaForge

[:- Data

{(:-) I am William Shatner
Wearing toupee

} (:-( I am William Shatner in a high wind

8(:-) Zippy
Mickey Mouse
Walt Disney

******:-) Marge Simpson

^^ Happiness (Japanese symbol)

^^; Embarrasment (Japanese symbol)

;; Sadness (Japanese symbol)

-- When it's the occasion to bow (Japanese symbol)

>:-> User just made a really devilish remark.
Devilish smiley
User is leering

>;-> Winky and devil combined.
A very lewd remark was just made

[:] User is a robot
Robot smiley

B:-) Sunglasses on head
User has glasses on forehead

:-)-8 User is a big girl (partial body)

:-{) User has a mustache
Normal smiling face with a moustache
Happy with Mustache

:-{} User wears lipstick
Smiley wears lipstick
Heavy lipstick
Mick Jagger
Big mouth

}:-( Toupee in an updraft
Bull headed

:-[ User is a Vampire
Un-smiley blockhead
Vampire smiley
Biting criticism
Count Dracula
Bad Mood/Grumpy
Severe Displeasure

:-E Bucktoothed vampire
Has major dental problems

:-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing

:-)~ User drools

:-~) User has a cold

:'-) User is so happy, s/he is crying
Crying with happiness

:-@ User is screaming
Smiley face screaming
User is saying, "It's true, I swear"
Beard has permanent wave *or* was drawn by Picasso.
Extremely angry
User about to barf
Barking/Tounge Lashing
Tongue ring

:v) User has a broken nose
Left-pointing nose smiley
Left-pointing broken nose
Big nose

-:-( Punk rocker (real punk rockers don't smile)

:=) User has two noses
Orangutan smiley

+-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office

`:-) Shaved his right eyebrow off this morning

,:-) David Ogden Stiers' toupee
Shaved his left eyebrow off this morning

-I User is asleep

-O User is yawning/snoring
User is bored by the article you submitted

:-Q User is a smoker
Smoking smiley
User smoking a bud
Talking or Shouting with cigarette or cigar

O-) Message from cyclops
Smiley after smoking a banana
Megaton Man, on patrol!
Scuba diver
A Martian (happy)

O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)

:-S User just made an incoherent statement
What you say makes no sense
Sick smilie

:-X User's lips are sealed
Bow tie
A big wet kiss
User with taped-up mouth
User is swearing

<-) User is Chinese Rickshaw driver A Vietnamese peasant <-( User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes/fortunes *<:-) User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat Santa Claus Smilie with hat and pompom (cold weather smilie) (8-o It's Mr. Bill! *:o) It's Bozo the Clown! User is a bozo Clown 3:] Pet smilie 3:[ Mean Pet smilie Pit bull smiley d8= Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator TV detector van operator :-9 User is licking his/her lips Smiley licking it's lips %-6 User is braindead <:-I User is a dunce K:P User is a little kid with a propeller beenie :-0 No Yelling! (Quiet Lab) Orator Smiley orator User can't find shift key ..-) User only has one eye ,-) User only has one eye Winking happy smiley One eye ... and winking Sammy Davis, Jr. X-( User just died Net.suicide You are brain dead Dead user 8 :-) User is a wizard C=}>;*{)) Mega-Smilie... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an
updraft, a mustache, and a double chin

:] Gleep...a friendly midget smilie who will gladly be your friend

=) Variation on a theme
Chinese smiley
Interested smiley (big eyes)
The "cute" smiley
A different smiley

:} What should we call these? (what?)
The Grinch
If the user is a frenchmen and he has a curly mustache

:@ Screaming

:I Hmmm...
Hmmm, not funny!
Cute guy
Bad joke, but since I like you, I'll try to smile

:( Sad
Sad-turtle smiley

:[ Real Downer
A vampire
Very unhappy

:< face =":-(">:-I Net.startrek

3:o[ Net.pets

-P Yuk!
Reaction to unusually ugly C code

<:I Dunce :-8( Condescending stare >:-<>- Female

8-# Death
Dead smiley
User is dead

8-O "Omigod!!"
Took too many nodoz to work on thesis
User just before doubling over with pain

;-( Crying smiley
'That makes me so mad that if I ever see you I'll punch your
lights out'
Beaten up
Sad face gets his lights punched out
Sad or mad and got beat up

;^) Smirking smiley

:-)8<>:-l Klingon smiley

@:-} Smiley just back from the hairdresser

X:-) Little kid with a propeller beanie
User is Aunt Jemima

l^o Hepcat smiley

}:^#) Pointy nosed smiley

:-3 Handlebar mustache smiley

: = Beaver smiley

P-( Pirate smiley

:8) Pigish smiley

:/\) Extremely bignosed smiley

([( Robocop

&-l That made me cry

l-O Smiley is yawning

l:-O Flattop loudmouth smiley

$-) Yuppie smiley
Alex P. Keaton (from "Family Ties")
Won big at Las Vegas
Won the lottery

:----} You lie like pinnochio

8<:-) Smiley is a wizard :#) Drunk smiley H-) Cross-eyed smiley User is Geordie LaForge ]-I Smiley wearing sunglasses Very cool sunglasses (so smirks) V^J Smiley with glasses, seen from left side (portrait, talking) +-( Smiley, shot between the eyes ~:-P Smiley, thinking and steaming Having only one single hair `' Cat's eyes in the night L-P Totally scrambled smiley BI A frog -( Always should wear safety glasses, especially in the laser burn-in room User with gouged-out eyes !-( Black eye !- "I-am-a-Cylon-Centurian-with-one-red-eye-bouncing-back- and-forth." Cyclon Centurian Popeye User !.'v Flat top (profile) !:-( ) Being brained by a baseball bat #(,'%/) Slept too long on one side and didn't have time to wash hair #:o+= Betty Boop &:-o-8-<> Drunk with laughter

%-{ Sad variation

%- Been working all night
I've been on the computer all night

%-} Humor variation

%-~ Picasso
User was painted by Picaso

%\v Picasso
User was painted by Picaso

&- Tearful

&.(.. Crying

':-) Accidentally shaved off one of his eyebrows this morning
One eyebrow

'~;E Unspecified 4-legged critter

( Unhappy Cheshire cat

(!) Reference to non-Vanderbilt SEC football
A tight ass

($) Speculation on why Vanderbilt is in the SEC

() Reference to football

(,'%/) Slept too long on one side

(-.-)Zzz... Sleeping (sideways)

(-::-) Siamese twins
Putting heads together

(-E: Wearing bifocals

(-o-) Imperial Tie Fighter ("Star Wars")

(00) Mooning you

(8-) Wears glasses
Homer Simpson
I'm an Owl

(8-{)} Glasses, moustache and a beard

(: (= Wearing a ghost costume (mini whole body)

(:+) Big nose

(:- Unsmiley frowning

(:-# I am smiling and I have braces (watch out for the glare!)
Said something he shouldn't have

(:-* Kissing

(:-D Blabber mouth

(:-I Egghead

(:-\ VERY sad

(:-{~ Bearded

(:=) TWO noses (?)

(H f Robocop in a hydraulic press

(V)= Pacman champion

(X0) Double hamburger with lettuce and tomato

(^^)y-~~~ Smoking (sideways)

(x) Reference to Vanderbilt football

(- F Robocop

(}-8] Left-handed bearded smiley with glasses and headphones

) Cheshire cat

*!#*!^*&:-) A schizophrenic

** For winter sports generally

**-( Too many shocks

*-( Cyclops got poked in the eye
Cyclops after meeting Odysseus

*-) Shot dead
User was shot for the last posting
Cross-eyed smiley

*8-) Beaker (the Muppet lab assistant)

*<.'v Wearing snow cap (profile) *<8-)x>- For airline tickets going cheap

->=:-)X Zippy the Pinhead

'! Grim (profile)

'" Pursing lips (profile)

'J Smiling (profile)

'P Sticking tongue out (profile)

'T Keeping a straight face (profile)

'U Yawning (profile)

'V Shouting (profile)

'Y Whistling (profile)

'\ Frowning (profile)

'r Sticking tongue out (profile)

'v Talking (profile)

'w Speaking with forked tongue (profile)

-( Always should wear safety glasses

-] One eye

.---... ABBA fan

...( Wile E. Coyote after attempt on Road Runner's life

\/ Duck variation

^v Pointy nose (profile)

_) Suffering from Lorentz contraction (they're coming every
ten minutes now)
Suffering from Lorentz contractions

/8^{~ User has a lopsided hair line, glasses, moustache, and goatee

/:- Mr. Spock

/;-) Has one big thick cockeyed eyebrow

/\ For camping and backpacking

0-( Scuba diver with a broken mask

0:-) Angel

3 :-) Bart Simpson

3:*> Rudolph the reindeer

3:-o Cow

4:-) George Washington

5:-) Elvis Presley

6\/) Elephant

7:-) Fred Flintstone

8) Frog
Wearing shades
Real cross eyed
User wears glasses

8-* Just ate a hot pepper

8-O --* Just before doubling over with pain

8-P Reaction to College Cafeteria Coffee

8-S Sees all evil

8-] "Wow, maaan"
User is FDR

8-o Mr. Bill

8:) Pig

8=:-) Galloping Gourmet

8P Bullfrog in mating season

8^ Chicken

8_) Don't get your nose out of joint
User has his nose out of joint

8b Bullfrog in mating season

: ) Leper
Happy face

:###) Jimmy Durante

:$) Donald Trump

:%) An accountant

:'( Crying

:'O Bob Hope

:'} Richard Nixon

:(=) Jimmy Carter

:+( Punched nose, hurt

:+) Carl Friedrich Gauss
User has big nose
Teddy bear smiley

:-' Smoker
Chewing tobacco
User is spitting out chewing tobacco

:-' Has a cold

:-( ) You backed your car over my toe

:-( :-( :-( :-! Taylor Caldwell

:-() User has stubbed toe
Negro user
"I stubbed my toe"

:-(0) Yelling

:-(>~ "I just washed my goatee, and I can't do nuthin' with it."

:-(O) Yelling
Mick Jagger

:-) , Outie belly button

:-) . Innie belly button

:-) 8 Dolly Parton

:-) ... :-( ... :-) ... :-( ... Manic depressive

:-) :-( :- :-? Edgar Cayce

:-) :-) :-) Loud guffaw

:-) :-) :-) :-) Shirley MacLaine

:-)!!! Sam Kinnison

:-)' Drooling

:-)) Double chin
Very happy
Al Jolson

:-)* Speaks Esperanto
User is man with a bowtie

:-)-- 98-pound weakling (showing partial body)

:-)-O Smiling doctor with stethoscope

:-)== Arnold Schwarzenegger

:-)X Wearing a bowtie
Sen. Paul Simon

:-)} Has goatee/beard

:--) Jamie Farr (Klinger from M*A*S*H)

:------------) Big liar

:-.) Madonna
Marilyn Monroe
Cindy Crawford

:->X== Smiley formal wear
Formal wear

:-G- Smoking cigarettes

:-M Speaking no evil

:-O>-o Smiley American tourist (with camera)

:-Q~ Smoking

:-R Has the flu

:-Y A quiet aside
User is talking after the no yelling smiley

:-bill Zydeco Bill, with harmonica in mouth and washboard on chest

:-d~ Smokes heavily

:-p~ Smokes heavily

:-{ -__-: After slamming the toilet seat

:-{~ User has read too many toilet paper articles previous to lunch

:- :- Deja' vu

:- Angry

:/7) Cyrano de Bergerac

:3-<>) Big nose

:?) Philosopher

:@) Pig
Smilie with a pig nose

:P Sticking out tongue
Blowing a raspberry

:Q) John Q. Public

:Ui Smoking

:Uj Smoking and smiling

:V Woodpecker

:V) Woodpecker

:X Lips are sealed
Sworn to secrecy

:X) Hearing no evil

:^( Has had his nose put out of joint
User has a broken nose

:^D "Great! I like it!"

:^{)> Moustache and beard

:b Sticking out tongue

:c) Big nose variant

:c<>X Mustached chinese man with a toupee, goatee, bow tie

<-(= Chinese and doesn't like this article Chinese and unhappy <-)= Chinese Chinese with a beard =):-) Uncle Sam Happy in Cowboy Hat or Yippee =-O The Enterprise =-O * * * The Enterprise firing photon torpedoes =-O~~~ The Enterprise firing phasers =.'v Has mohawk (profile) =0== Mexican on a railroad! =8') Smiley with glasses and a mohawk (?) =8-> A nerd smiley that's unbearably pleased with itself

=:-#} Punk rocker with a mustache
Smiley punk with a mustache

=:-H Football player

==#== Railroad crossings

===:[OO']>:=== Has been railroaded

=====:} Snake

=^) Open minded smiley

=t== Mexican run over by train

=:-) Abe Lincoln
A top hat

>%) Wile E. Coyote

>-<>-> China man

>-^);> Fish

>8o!... Bugs Bunny with carrot

>:) A little devil

>:*) Bozo the Clown

>:-( Mad, annoyed
Sick and tired of reading this nonsense

>:-b Left-pointing tongue smiley

>:^( Headhunter (Amazon style)

>>-O-> General Custer

>[I Television

>w Nose-thumbing gesture

>( Robocop: "Thank you for your co-operation."

>-> Chinese

?:) Single curl of hair

@%&$%&$\&*@%$#@ You know what that means

@-( "Ulysses! Bring me Ulysses!"

@-) Cyclops
Space... The Final Frontier
Seeing stars

@.'v Has curly hair (profile)

@l@ Too many hours at terminal

B) Frog wearing sunglasses

B-(8 Sir Robin Day

B-D "Serves you right, dummy!!"

B^) Hornrimmed glasses

C:# Football player

C:-) Large brain capacity
I'm an Egghead
"Bonjour, Monsieur..."

C=>8*) Devilish chef with glasses and a moustache

C=}>;*{O) Mega-smiley... a drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an
updraft, a mustache, and a double chin

C:-= Charlie Chaplin

EK( Frankenstien

Ic:() Pygmy with bone in hair

L:-) Just graduated

M-) Sees no evil

M-),:X),:-M Sees no evil, hears no evil, speaks no evil

M.^.M Nirvana or the failure of a chiropracter

M:-) Saluting

O 8-) The angelic halo look

O+ Appropriate for women's messages, surely?

O-&-<>-<= Of interest to women Q:-) New graduate R-) Broken glasses [8-{) Bearded smiley with glasses and headphones [:-] Square head Robot [:] Robot (or other AI project) [= For messages about housing in Arizona \.^./ Lotus position, seen from above \/\/\/\,8-O Really should fix frayed line cord on terminal \:-) French hat A beret \:^) Gumby smiley User is gumby \o/ PTL (praise the lord, or pass the loot?) (sideways) ]:-) The Devil Smilie with a nurse hat Member of the Royal Family ]:-> The Devil
User is devilish

^(^ Happy variation (sideways)

^)^ ^(^ Two people talking (sideways)

^L^ Happy (sideways)

^v^v^ Mountains
User is near the mountains

_:^) American Indian

_\\// Vulcan salute

__! Enough for now

__. Properly chastised and/or chagrined, or is merely asleep

__/~`-'~\_/ Line of thought isn't quite a line

__Q~`__ Cat on a wall

Q~` Cat

_______ Wile E. Coyote under rock
A He-Ne laser line
Student EEG on Saturday night

`-_-' Have you hugged your wolf today?

`^J Smiley

d :-o Hats off to your great idea

d.'v Wearing hard hat (profile)

i-=<*** __. CAUTION: has flame thrower and uses it! i-=<****** o-(==<> Kissy face
Blowing a kiss

-{ "Good Grief!" (Charlie Brown)

:-) Heavy eyebrows
User has the one eyebrow syndrome

:-O Open mouth smiley (?)

:- Excessively rigid

:[' Groucho Marx

For messages about cars or other four-wheeled vehicles

~( "Someone just busted my nose"
User just had nose busted

}(:-( Wearing toupee in wind
A Viking

}-) A wry grin

}:-<> Person in a transporter beam

~~~~> Photon

-( ) Yawning smiley

-(= =) Yawning smiley from Vietnam

IIII8^)X Cat in the Hat

: .) Cindy Crawford

((: =)X Charlie Chaplin

: =) Adolf Hitler

<+-< : ) Pope C:\> MS-DOS Programmer

^_^ Basic smilie (Japanese symbol)

;_; Crying smilie (Japanese symbol)

@_@ Boggled eyes smilie, or glasses (Japanese symbol)

(_o_) Kowtowing (bowing) person (Japanese symbol)
An ass that's been around
This ass costs you a lot less

~\\ (^o^) /~/~ Octopus (Japanese symbol)

(oo) Ultraman (Japanese symbol)

(Y)oYo(Y) Barutan, a monster from "Ultraman" (Japanese symbol)

*^_^* Blushing smilie (Japanese symbol)
Cute little girl

^_^;;; Embarassed smilie; cold sweat (Japanese symbol)

^^;;; Embarassed smilie; cold sweat (Japanese symbol)

- User is asleep (boredom)

:-)x User wears a bow tie

=:= User is a priest

*) Mutant smiley
Here's Thor Hi-y'all.

]B=8} Dragon smiley
User is a dragon

`@_____ User is writing about snail mail

`\=o-o=/' User wears eye glasses

())=( User is drinking wine

<0__/\__/\_>[]I User is watching television

:^X^C User is an emacs user saying "How do I get out of this damn
vi editor?"

(OO) User is mooning you (sideways)

)*( User is an asshole (sideways)

oo---oo-Bo User is a truck driver

i-=<*** User is applying flame thrower ~~~c___ User is at the beach ,,,^..^,,, User is a cat peeking over a fence (sideways) ~M`'~ User is camel (sideways) `AR~ Baby elephant (sideways) (^o^) User is joyously singing (sideways) (^.^)/ User is waving hello (sideways, Japanese style) (;.;)/~ User is waving goodbye (sideways, Japanese style) (>_<) User is furious (sideways) User is hurt (Japanese style) (=_=)~ User is sleepy (sideways, Japanese style) {{(>_<)}} User is cold (sideways, Japanese style) @L@ User has spent too many hours at terminal ` ' User is a cat (at night) (sideways) (*_*) User is in love (sideways) ($_$) User is being greedy (sideways) Yuppie (x_x) User is dead (sideways) (u_u) User is sleeping (sideways) (OvO) User is an owl (sideways) (g_g) User is sleepy #!^~/ User is kissing and wears shades (profile) * User is happy (3/4 view)

/\/:/\ User is the Mummy

(Z(:^P User is Napoleon

:-8p User is Dizzy Gillespie (puffed cheeks and trumpet)

IIIIII8^)X User is The Cat in the Hat

`,`,`,`,`: User is a Mrs. Frankenstein

(:-O ==> User is Rush Limbaugh (note loud tie)

=[8]-O User is Spaceman Spiff preparing to land

C8<] User is Darth Vader [:=I] User is Frankenstein (>:^F) User is Count Dracula

=B-{### User is from ZZ Top

(8=X User is Death (Mr. Death to you) (skull & X bones)

(-( User is "Good Grief!"
User is Charlie Brown

(- F User is Robocop

*:O) User is Bozo the Clown

*<:-)> User is Santa Claus

3:-) User is Bart Simpson
User has curly hair
Smiley cow

7:^) User is Ronald Reagan

7:u) User is Fred Flintstone

:##) User is Jimmy Durante

:-) 8 User is Dolly Parton (partial body)

;-p User is Popeye

]:-)} User is the Devil

]B-) User is Batman

C:-=) User is Charlie Chaplin

(:- User is Captain Jean Luc Picard

}}:-( User is Worf

=:) User is a bunny
Smiley with raised eyebrows

=:x User is a bunny

{:<> User is Daffy Duck

>>>>>:============ User is a vegetable (asparagus)

(:= User is a beaver

:=8 User is a baboon

>:-3= User is Bugs Bunny

(:<> User is a duck

:8] User is a gorilla

.\/ User is a duck (profile)

#B<> User is a duck, with a spike haircut & Ray-Bans, quacking.

) User is the Cheshire cat

(:-) : 8- User is a male

{:-} 8 > User is a female

(:-) : ==8 User is a male on the make

:-o : ^^: User is a male after zipping up fly too fast

{:-} 8 X User is a female wearing chastity belt

$:-) : 8- User is a male prostitute

$:-} B > User is a female prostitute

(8-( : -8 User is a masked rapist

(:-) ? User is having a sex change

(:-) : 8=== User is John Holmes

*:-} 8 8- User is a transvestite

[:-) 8 > User is a gay female (butch)

{:-( : > User is a female with small breasts

*:-} : 8- User is a gay male (fem)

:-( : :~ User is an impotent male

:-) : , 8- User has an outie belly button

:-) : 8-^- User is in need of some corrective surgery

:-) : 8-... User is taking a leak

:-\ : 8o User after a cold shower

{:- 8( )> User is a pregnant female

:-} : =M8 User is taking matters into his own hand

>:-( 8 > User is a female after reading sexist opinions on feminists

{:-) 8 > <>d-: Users are engaged in cuninlingus (showing body)

@O=E<= User is a woman in skirt wearing turtleneck sweater (mini whole body) B-)-[<>--<>8<= User is writing messages about interesting women (mini whole body) oO:)& User is a grandmother *-=8-D User is a clown #:o\:o/:o\:o/:o User is a totem pole >[:^) User watches too much TV

[]:-{o User is a Barbershop quartet singer

<*(:-? User is a Wizard who doesn't know the answer ::-bd-:: User is has glasses and is sticking out tongue at mirror (P- User is a Borg X^o User is trying to focus on ASCII random dot stereograms K%*} User is very drunk with lampshade on head {-) User is needs a haircut (:-)>+ User is a Monk

:-... User is heart-broken

(:-)} User is bald and bearded

(D:-] User is a General

*!#*!^*&~ >:-( User is very angry after losing hours of work

*(H-) User is a downhill skier

*8=(: User is a blubbering idiot

.-( User should have worn safety glasses

._) User is suffering from Lorentz contractions

G-( User is a scuba diver with a broken mask

8-{) User is has glasses and a moustache

8===> User is a dickhead

: ( User is a leper

:-( ) User has had toes stepped on
"You stepped on my toe"

:-(= User has buck teeth

:-) :-( :-) :-( Manic depressive

:-)>-o User is a doctor with stethoscope

:-)K- User is wearing shirt and tie

>:-@ User is extremely angry

:-@%$# User is swearing

:-G-~ User is smoking cigarettes

:-O>-[o] User is an American tourist (note big mouth and camera)

:-P* User is spitting out its chewing tobacco

>:-t User is cross

>;-(' User is is so mad that s/he is spitting

%-( User is a practical joker who played one too many and got
beat up
Broken glasses

={:-)] User is in a bottle

=:-#( User is punk rocker with a mustache

(:-H User is football player

==:%(== User is has been railroaded

=>B=) User is a punk rocker

>:w) User is making the nose-thumbing gesture

?:-) User has wavy hair, parted on right

C:H User is a football player

I8${} User is a Ubangi (bone in nose)

K:-) User is a little kid with a propeller beenie
Smiley with a graduation hat
A propeller hat/beanie

R-( User has broken glasses

@@@@@@:-) User is Marge Simpson (Homer's wife)

~(:-) User is Homer Simpson

:-. User has 'no comment'
Wispering/Talking Quietly.

~:o User is a baby

~:@ User is a baby with a pacifier

:-C===8 User is giving or receiving a blowjob

:-) (-: + :-o o-: + :-Pd-: Users in a kissing sequence

=-) Sideways smily face

:-o zz z z Z Z Bored

:^U Turned face

:^Y Turned poker face

:^r Bleahhh (sticking tongue out)

:^y Turned smiling face

:^W Turned face with tongue out

:^" Pursing lips

:-[] Robot face

:-[#] Smilie with braces

%) Artistic face
Here's a racing yacht

C:-) Smilie with a bowler hat

:-)= Smilie with beard

-Q Smoking and yelling chinese

!8-) Nerd with combed hair

B-] Batman smiley

K-[ Batman with eyes poked out

=^-^= Cat smile

[:~~~~>)##### Jewish guy smiling

[:~~~~>o##### Jewish guy reading tora

:/ Constipated

:-+ User with too much lipstick

:-* User with moustache

:-=( Hitler user

8-(:-} Matt user with propeller beanie

:-h User with forked tongue

:-)B User with large breasts
User is a big girl

(*): I Cyclops user

*8-I Nerd user

*X-I Dead nerd user

=(:-) Punk user

:::-) ElephantmanUser
The Elephant Man

._/ Squashed user

-: User up-side down with a brick in his mouth

:-)I User on the town

8-)*--- Miami Vice user

{{:-) Klingon warrior smiling after victory

}}:-) Klingon warrior smiling after victory

@:-\ Elvis

___m_oo_m___ Spying at the wall

___m_OO_m___ REALLY spying at the wall

___m_+o+_m___ Clown spying at the wall

^^m^^oo^^m^^^ Spying at the wall with nails

__mmmm_oo_mmmm__ Octopus spying at the wall

__\/_oo_\/__ Crab spying at the wall

____V@_____ Snail spying at the wall

__m_(-O-)_m__ Koala spying at the wall

__m_.(%)._m__ Yet another pig spying at the wall

______,________ Yet another ant spying at the wall

_____,P________ Ant with banner spying

___,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,___ Ants marching and spying at the wall

___,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,P,___ Ant Platoon marching and spying at the wall

____________ Invisible Man spying at the wall

__m__(((..)__m__ "Monica" spying at the wall

___m_--_m___ Chinese spying at the wall

__m____m___ Dwarf spying at the wall

___m_O_m___ Cyclops spying at the wall

___m_@^@_m___ Man with glasses spying at the wall

_m_oo_m_m_oo_m_ Twins spying at the wall

_m_oo_mm_oo_m_ Siamese Twins spying at the wall

--m--xx--m-- Dead cartoon spying at the wall

__m_oo_?__ Cap. Hook spying at the wall

__m_oo__ One-handed spying at the wall

&-r Tearful user sticking tongue out

<8-*>*b Drunk user pointing the tongue out

@0-( Scuba-diver-sad user wearing a turban

(:-~I Egg-head user with a cold

(B:o# Egg-head user with sunglasses on head and wearing braces

*.-) One-eye-only user smiling

~~0{ Scuba-diver user using a mustache and burning

<:-} Happy user OOOOBc~ Marge Simpson-unhappy user using glasses and drooling OOOO:@[ Pig-nose-Marge Simpson-vampire user (8*<>- Female user smiling

*( Crazy user frowning

>8-< frankenstein="==:-D">A fish (?)

>-",",","-)D> A fish (?)

__/\o_ A swimmer (?)
A caterpiller (?)

/\o/\ A spider (?)

/\_/\ A mountain range (?)

^+^ Sideways Smiley Variation (?)

\,/ A grin (?)

/'\ A mountain (?)

/~'v'~\ Girl with pigtails (?)

(~v~) Sideways Smiley Variation (?)

=^.^= A cat smiley
Callsign of KingKat

-,- Sleepy smiley (?)

-.- Sleepy smiley (?)

\/ A grin (?)

(^_^) Ear to ear smile
Asian smiley

~=o oOo oOo o@=< (?) ooo O\O ooo KILROY! ooo *\* ooo Maybe; (probably needs a wall) __m_(OuO)_m__ With a wall. (some tty has nice 0's) --ooo-------ooo-- Hanged at the other side of the wall ... c=: Phallus C===: XXL size c=. Phallus of a Cyclop =: Eunuch's phallus c=; Eunuch's phallus with a crushed testicle c=//=: Bobbit Phallus c=#=: Bobbit Phallus after operation. c=:: Four-engined ~: Child ,: Powerless I Frontside . Powerless in frontside c=3 In abstinence for a while c=B Clergyman (y) Pubis 8x Scissors (8x) Bobbit`s wife {y} Old pubis [y] Military pubis ((Y)) Fat lady (((Y))) Very fat lady (..(Y)..) More fat isn`t possible (x(Y)) X weighted lady (in Kg) (x) Gay =r) Big nose smiley =o) Big nose smiley (==) Kosh from Babylon 5 Cotton reel [-:-) Garibaldi from Babylon 5 ("Male pattern baldness") (o:-) Sinclair from Babylon 5 ("hole in your mind") { :-) Minbari from Babylon 5 &:-)> Narn from Babylon 5

{8-> Bart Simpson

{8-* Maggie Simpson

{8-) Lisa Simpson

=O) Stimpy

>>>>X-O>>>> Roadkill Smiley

///:-) "Nest" haircut

<:3 )~~~~ Mouse/rat <:3 Rat/Mouse/Ferret :I) Smiley with septum pierce (flesh of nose between nostrils) (^-^) Smile <^O^> Laughing loudly

(@_@) Stunned

(o_o) Shocked

m(_ _)m Deep bow used for apologizing or expressing thanks

O_O Shocked (Japanese style)

^_- Winking (Japanese style)

^_~ Winking 2 (Japanese style)

\ ^_^ / Joyful! (Japanese style)

\(^o^\)(/^.^)/ Happy! (Japanese style)

(*^_^*) Shy! (Japanese style)

/.#( Adolf Hitler

:-) >=> Smiley reading a book

vH) Here's a drakkar (Viking longboat?).

v##) Here's a largish boat with more sails than a schooner.

v+)____, Here's a boat weighing anchor. Hmmm... .5 tons.

<) Here's a house boat. v- Here's my life raft. *<<<= A Christmas tree. *%) A punk after the big booze. *8D A punk wearing glasses. ______2_2222_________ Ducks spying at the wall. _________@@__________ Imperial AT-AT spying over the wall of the Hoth rebel base (pun intended). _________0-n_________________ Key forgotten for someone that was spying at this wall. __________p^o_________ One-armed person using a binocular for spying at the wall, being far away. <+:') The pope <+:'@=== The vomiting pope /:-=( Adolf Hitler (=(:->* Uncle Sam

((:- =)X Charlie Chaplin

: - = Hitler

(----( : - ) The Pope

[ : ] Frankenstien

\:// George Bush

]:)--< o="=" 0="=">]} A dragon wearing sunglasses

87) Cartoon character with a long nose and happy..

~87( Cartoon character unhappy that he has only one hair on
his head

%87) Cartoon character happy he has his curly hair

87D Cartoon character with a long nose.. and VERY happy

87P O>w Cartoon character enjoying eating his ice cream cone

87P`` O>w Cartoon character REALLY enjoying eating his ice cream
cone with drops of saliva dripping *smile*..

<:-EXB Vampirella :p :q :d :b :D User is licking his lips (sequence) ^) Chink smiley face (oj Smiley scuba diver with snorkel q; Mean baseball-cap wearing Smiley x:<> Smiley Edd the Duck

#/\/:) Smiley with cantilevered toupe

}:8 Far Side cow smiley

~(:) Smiley playing at being an Indian

<) Chinese smiley #(: Left-handed user wearing a goatee Left-handed user has a really bad tie on :)> Basic goatee smiley

<(: Basic goatee smiley (left-handed) :))) User is real fat :-) A guy with a bad tie on

<\\\\>(-: A left-handed guy with a bad tie on

>-COD User is "floundering" for something to say

___(member '(A B C D 1 (A B)) A)___ LISP code spying at the wall.
(but it returns `t')

*---E Santa Claus (?)

=B-) User with spiked hair and sunglasses, smiling

=B-( User with spiked hair and sunglasses, frowning

)-: Bass-Ackwards smiley.
Left-handed frowning smiley.

o:-) Smiley with bullet hole in head (a.k.a. Dain-Bramaged Smiley)
[*>-] Philippine Flag

o>-<= For messages of interest only to women. ~= A candle, to annotate flaming messages. >:-* Angry

@=) Dan Quayle smiley

@@@:) Marge Simpson smiley

: Data Smiley

v) Star Trek "The Traveler" Smiley

@:O Mr. Bill smiley

-(:-) German soldier from WWI

^j Profile, smiling, wearing those long, rectangular
sunglasses thingies.

/O\ User is ducking.

/oo\ Male user cringing from an (expected) below the belt blow.

.^, Looking Sideways/Happy

:-L Blank with cigarette or pipe

=-o Surprised

<=-O Frightened/Scared =-<> Mouth Gaped Open/Awe Struck

)-[ Tired and Grumpy and Very Unhappy.

(]:-) Happy in Soldier Hat or Gung Ho

$-> Happily Excited or With Greedy Selfish Tone

-o Squinting while Talking

:-, Quiet/Hushed/Not Talking/Zipped Shut

%+\ Messed Up/Spaced Out/Effected/Scrambled/Out-To-Lunch

-.zzzzzzzzzz Snoozing/Snorring/Sleeping Deeply/Knocked-Out

(c: Smiley with big nose, seen from left (?)

(c:) Bald smiley with big nose, seen from left (?)

>^..^< boat ="=" cigarette ="<:o)" chef ="="> Pencil

(]====[) Dumb-bell

====[] Mallet

.,*~`~*,..,*~`~*,..@ Worm

. . . @ Snail

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Object of Desire

Most of us know some or the other variant of the Frog Prince story. The princess really wanted her "golden ball" so bad that she promised the frog anything to get her it back.

Recently I finished reading "Still Life with Woodpecker" wherein the protagonist asks the question "What Happened to the Golden Ball?" after the girl narrates him the fairy tale of frog prince. Hmmm..It never struck me as odd but somehow the question makes sense and seems like it was answered in another work. Now consider the following excerpt :
What can the Object of Desire possibly be in Byzantine law?"
"Oh, you can slip it in. If there ever was an Object of Desire in Byzantine law, of course, it wasn't what this guy says it was. It never is."
"Never is what?"

"What you think it is. Once-I was five or six-I dreamed I had a trumpet. A gold trumpet. It was one of those dreams where you can feel honey flowing in your veins; you know what I mean? A kind of prepubescent wet dream. I don't think IVe ever been as happy as I was in that dream. When I woke up, I realized there was no trumpet, and I started crying. I cried all day. This was before the war-it must have been '38--a time of poverty. If I had a son today and saw him in such despair, I'd say, 'All right, I'll buy you a trumpet.' It was only a toy, after all, it wouldn't have cost a fortune. But my parents never even considered such a thing. Spending money was a serious business in those days. And they were serious, too, about teaching a child he couldn't have everything he wanted. 'I can't stand cabbage soup,' I'd tell them-and it was true, for God's sake; cabbage made me sick. But they never said: 'Skip the soup today, then, and just eat your meat.' We may have been poor, but we still had a first course, a main course, and fruit. No. It was always: 'Eat what's on the table.' Sometimes, as a compromise, my grandmother would pick the cabbage out of my bowl, stringy piece by stringy piece. Then I'd have to eat the expurgated soup, which was more disgusting than before. And even this was a concession my father disapproved of."
"But what about the trumpet?"
He looked at me, hesitant. "Why are you so interested in the trumpet?"
"I'm not. You were the one who brought it up, to show how the Object of Desire is never what others think."

"The trumpet...My uncle and aunt from *** arrived that evening. They had no children, and I was their favorite nephew. Well, when they saw me bawling over my dream trumpet, they said they would fix everything: tomorrow we would go to the department store where there was a whole counter of toys-wonder of wonders-and I'd have the trumpet I wanted. I didn't sleep all night, and I couldn't sit still all the next morning. In the afternoon we went to the store, and they had at least three kinds of trumpets there. Little tin things, probably, but to me they were magnificent brass worthy of the Philharmonic. There was an army bugle, a slide trombone, and a trumpet of gold with a real trumpet mouthpiece but the keys of a saxophone. I couldn't decide, and maybe I took too long. Wanting them all, I must have given the impression that I didn't want any of them. Meanwhile, I believe my uncle and aunt looked at the price tags. My uncle and aunt weren't stingy; on the other hand, a Bakelite clarinet with silver keys was much cheaper. 'Wouldn't you like this better?' they asked. I tried it, produced a reasonable honk, and told myself that it was beautiful, but actually I was rationalizing. I knew they wanted me to take the clarinet because the trumpet cost a fortune. I couldn't demand such a sacrifice from my relatives, having been taught that if a person offers you something you like, you must say, 'No, thank you,' and not just once, not 'No, thank you,' with your hand out, but 'No, thank you' until the giver insists, until he says, 'Please, take it.' A well-bred child doesn't accept until that point. So I said maybe I didn't care about the trumpet, maybe the clarinet was all right, if that's what they wanted. And I looked up at them, hoping they would insist. They didn't, God bless them, they were delighted to buy me the clarinet, since-they said-that was what I wanted. It was too late to backtrack. I got the clarinet."

Belbo looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. "You want to know if I dreamed about the trumpet again?''
"I want to know," I said, "what the Object of Desire was."
"Ah," he said, turning back to his manuscript. "You see? You're obsessed by the Object of Desire, too. But it's not all that simple...Suppose I had taken the trumpet. Would I have been truly happy then? What do you think, Casaubon?"
"I think you would have dreamed about the clarinet."
"I got the clarinet," he concluded sharply, "but I never played it."
"Never played it? Or never dreamed it?"
"Played it," he said, underlining his words, and for some reason I felt like a fool.

-Excerpt from Umberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

The Mentor

When we we were all Mayakovskis he was a Zhivago among us.You could always fathom that there was a certain melancholy deep inside him, behind all the sarcasm and criticism. Some kind of a abyss which he alone knows that he will never be able to cross. He needs to bid adieus from one end of the cliff.

His Philosophy has always been that if he thought of something then someone must have already done it.I recollect those days when he was literally in tears seeing someone else breath life into his thought form. (Incidentally holding a job like that of a programmer seems to inculcate a God-complex in most fellows I know.I mean this about the good ones.Not your average-run-of-the-mill-mediocrity-loving fellow who should have no such qualms because paycheck comes first for them and then their creation thus taking away the disease with it)

I am not sure how we came together to be mates. Despite the age, he probably belongs to my lost generation who feels a camarederie with other lost and lonely folks.Probably not.Its hard to tell because he always has this veil of a vision that was focussed on a far off oject, probably leading this general impression that he is a traveler in this planet and his home lies somewhere else.But I kind of know whats behind that veil.Its something to be discovered through smoke and mirrors.

I have seen him through his many moods : childlike exuberance,youthful irresponsibility, mature hesitation, conservativeness of an old hag and a supreme indifference.Almost like a Kaleidoscope plugged into his cerebrum. Some brilliant, Some naive and Some curious but all of them were original.They never lost my interest. The one I see now has come a full circle. Probably he reached the end of vanity of all things that leads to a resurgence of interest in him.

No. Its not over. What I see now must be the twilight of a new dawn and not the hangover of an old sunset.Whatever it shall be, it is worth looking forward to..