Sunday, December 31, 2006


"Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever." -Mark Twain

So I thought it would be wise to give up on this habit of smoking and lets see if Mr. Twain was correct.Its been an awesome year and I am looking forward to a riproaring and a very rosy 2007

नये साल की हार्दिक शुभकामनायें

Heri ya mwaka mpya

Xin nian yu kuai

Shuvo noboborsho

Naya saal ko hardik shubakamana

Gelukkig nieuwjaar

Eutychismenos o kainourgios chronos

Hauoli Mahahiki hou

Boldog uj evet

Selamat Tahun Baru


Sehe Bokmanee Bateuseyo

La Multi Ani si Un An Nou Fericit

Feliz ano nuevo

Laimingų Naujųjų Metų


Thursday, December 28, 2006


Whenever I come home it is an emotional rollercoaster. So many a thing happen that I am more or less zapped. Best expressed in the following floydian lyrics

Overhead the albatross hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
The echo of a distant tide
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine.

And no one showed us to the land
And no one knows the wheres or whys
But something stirs and something tries
And starts to climb toward the light

Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand the best I can

And no one calls us to move on
And no one forces down our eyes
And no one speaks and no one tries
And no one flies around the sun

Cloudless every day you fall upon my waking eyes
Inviting and inciting me to rise
And through the window in the wall
Comes streaming in on sunlight wings
A million bright ambassadors of morning

And no one sings me lullabies
And no one makes me close my eyes
And so I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky

Friday, December 15, 2006

Eastward Ho!

Finally that time of the year came around. I am starting in a few hours to get home. It is always exciting to think about the idea and so far I was counting the days towards this trip. Now, I sign off work for the rest of the year. The best emotion I left with is the fact that a bunch of folks at work are keenly interested in what happens during this trip. Some are excited, some wish well while some are nervous. I am glad to have so many people interested in my well being. Long story short, this is going to be memorable for a long time to come and I hope it is worth the while of all those who stand by me :)

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Movie Reviews

Since it was raining today, I had finished watching two well executed movies back to back.

South from Granada is a movie based on the real life experiences of author Gerald Brenan. It has echoes of One Hundred years of solitude and one of the spanish tracks is a perfect treat for the ears. Its something to watched over a rainy day sipping coffee.

Thank You for Smoking is a brilliant masterpiece of spin in current day US. Mind you, it has effective debate techniques and other educational pieces thoughout involving your grey cells all the time you are watching the movie. One of the best things in this flick is when the protoganist's son is asked to write an essay about "Why is America the best managed place on planet earth?". It has a very interesting answer that finds a resonance in me. The keyword is to "love" your job well enough that you would do anything to get things done. Go watch this right now and you would see my point. Another movie in the same kind of genre but more of a drama thing was this femmy one called The Contender.

Now I need to hunt for more titles.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Another Haiku

Once in four years
Shooting the breeze wont do
A Leap Frog!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

The Cocktail Party

"You and I don't know the process by which the human is
Transhumanized: what do we know
Of the kind of suffering they must undergo
On the way of illumination?"
-T.S. Eliot, "The Cocktail Party"

My first ever black tie event happened yesterday. Prepping up for it was a kind of an elaborate ritual like a fancy dress competition. I was thinking of the price people pay just for an evening like this. I picked up an Oscar de la Renta suit. and then a formal white shirt and black dress socks at Brooks Brothers.The tie was from pierre cardin. Even though people wear contacts for such a thing, I was comfortable with my zeiss lenses held in an oakley frame. Had an oxford style bata which carried me enough times through important meetings. Why am I going through this name dropping crap. Because, despite all these attempts, I was the least expensively dressed guy at this party.

Just to give you a taste of these folks, the host had his residence very near Sandhill road where the house alone would have costed 2-3 million USD. The moment I parked I saw a Valet coming up and telling me he got it. I glanced around the other parked cars and managed to see a Bugatti, a Maserati among the usual constellation of S-Class Mercs and M3 beemers. Whoa! My golf must be the least valued car in the lot.

The theme for this event was "Moulin Rouge" and I could see women dressed exactly for the theme while the men were mostly black tie. I had no clue how to find my host till I ran into a a co-worker who was also invited. Dom Perignon was served initially for the kick off and later we went to this invention called Tequila Tunnel where you pour in the patrone silver tequila off the top at one end of an ice sculpture like a lady and out comes the tequila chilled by the ice at one end. After the usual banter where I met a couple of Venture Capitalists and a head of global sales for a company who was all praise for India.

Later, we went out to the deck with a glassful of grand marnier and smoked Cohiba. This was the exact moment where I felt like playing "Have a Cigar" on the stereo but it was playing "Come Together" by the beatles to which we started singing impromptuly like a group slowly joing a chorus. Then we went down to the basement that was converted to a dance floor with all the equipment and lights. We were dancing and singing to the tunes of "American Pie". It was one fabulous moment in the party.

Waiting in the line for drinks or the restrooms I met up folks like founder of a company bought by google and executives of some famed companies.

Slowly people started to wean away saying their good byes, with their hugs and kisses. I was the last person to leave wondering what does it take for hosting such an extravagant affair. I was asking my host as to why is this an yearly affair instead of semi-annual to which he replied this is all that he can do. The host was none other than my own boss :-) which was my entry ticket to the in-crowd of the valley.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Snappy Preview

In this google dominated world of search you hardly ever hear of other sites that can actually stand ground and be different. Bill Gross actually was the father of the AdWords idea and Google added the auction twist to this and now makes tons of money. He however made his stuff via Overture and now is spinning his wheels in the next venture called "Snap".

I love Snap and its folks for their refreshingly nice design of the site. Whats more, in Google you pay by clicks whereas Snap takes it to the next level where you pay for an ad only when an actual sale is made following this lead. What more can you ask for as a merchant when you want to do targeted marketing.

Why am I blogging about it now? For one, they are one my most pleasant and a very tech-savvy smart customers. More than that they recently released this feature called "Preview" which is what I incorporated for my links. It works great for in blog sneak peek at whats there without going to the site while making it neasy to search as well.

Keep up the excellent work, Snap folks.

Sunday, November 26, 2006


I am happy that I finally got my ticket to India. This is special because none of my travel agents could get tickets and the only one to get cheated me on the itinerary. Its a market in itself and I was taken for a fool just like an investment bank would have but instead it was a travel agency.

Instead, I found a ticket for myself using my own methods, close to my budget ( this is the most expensive ticket I have ever paid to India) and on my own terms. I am excited either way because I am looking forward eagerly to it.

On another front I am happy to hear the words "Lets Party!"

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Thanksgiving and all that horror!

Come to think of Thanksgiving as a holiday, it is virtually unknown outside of US. Originally founded as a way to thank god and the Indians for giving the land, now it retains a scope far bigger than it was et to be. And after 7 years of my stay, I was finally invited to a true turkey and ham lunch. The week before was quite rocky with a customer handing over my ass to me in my hands, a good relaxation session with folks in the east coast followed up by a friendly reunion with my old employer. The last week was even outrageous considering I picked up a fight in the bar and drank myself to glory. Co-workers tell me my cuss word frequency has increased and that I was displaying aggression uncharacteristic of me.

All in all, it took me an year to my current stint to earn a respect as a "man" enough in the firm that I am now on the invite list to 2 of the celebrated parties in the bay area. Previously, I was a supposed to be a geek (literal definition a carnival performer who does disgusting acts) whose job was to turn shit into something sellable and once you had enough produce turned into gold, I presume you naturally get invited. My thanksgiving lunch was supposed to be a warm-up for the upcoming christmas and other parties.

Where do I start? The even kickstarted at 2:00 pm when my gracious host enquired about my poison of choice to which I responded Beer. We then deep fried a duck (in a nice stainless steel canister fueled by a propane gas tank) while we waited for other guests to arrive. One was a wealthy old man who changed his houses more often than his cars. Then a lady in VW Eos appeared. As a conversation starter I enquired as to where she worked, to which, promptly came the response that she was laid off. Err.Umm. She also bought a condo and this new car just 15 days before. I moved on to other topics.

Later, we were followed by a true blue American couple, call then D and T. Now T was an admirable personality who always complimented his wife D and seemed like the party was on its way to start. The view from my hosts' deck was fabulous with Mountains (and Mountain Lions, I was to discover) and the city traffic flowing like blood corpuscles to and fro. Overall, it was a nice view to soak yourself into with a Martini (which is what I promptly did).

We were ushered into this dining room shortly where the lunch was supposed to commence and I was struck by the formality of the process. Silverware and table laid out for a 4 course meal. The background was a huge painting of Eiffel Tower with photographs at its different phases of construction. The other end was a transparent view of the hillocks and the lake nearby. Absolutely perfect to be lunching in such a nice ambient "french-looking" room. We sliced our ham and ate our turkey with rejoice. Finished the meal with a nice cognac and some cigars in the lounge. Now, comes the dreadful talk of civilized men. Well, after such a hearty lunch its easy to forgive most things in the world and probably T knew this because he brought up the distasteful subject of politics . We politely nullified him by hijacking the subject to that of Wines and opening the cork of a 1995 Silver Oak Cab. Very nice I must say. The wining and chatting continued and more progressively the subjects grew distasteful.

By 8:00 pm I knew the precise psychological moment when I should be hitting the hay and lied down on the couch without much ado. I woke up around 9:40 pm when I heard a strange sound thats was polluting the nice background streaming music being rendered out of an iPod. I saw this VW Eos woman sobbing right next to my couch. Instead of asking whats wrong, I asked her if she cared for smoke. She said yea and we headed to the deck to get our nicotine fixed. Then she started sobbing more and I pointed this would dilute the nicotine fix. I wanted to know her sob story in exactly one sentence. She said she broke up this Monday, lost a job on Tuesday and has bills to pay. Phew! Straight out of a horror movie. Also seemed to have a insecurities regarding her age as she tried cover it up by saying "there is no such thing as too old" to which I retorted, "No, There is.." The the conversation went something like this

She: Shut Up. You are the youngest one here and its better you keep
Me: Okay.
She: Smoking is very bad for your health.
Me: Uh Oh!
S: My mother died of lung cancer even without smoking
M: Too bad, Just as one prefers to be loved and lost than to be lost
forever, so I would prefer to be smoking and then getting a cancer rather simply
contract the wretched disease

[she stubs out the cigarette as she isnt in a morally superior position
lecturing about the ill while doing the same herself]

S: I stubbed it so that I can resume my anti-smoking spiel.
M: Pray Continue (while I finish my stub..)
S: Its disgusting that you choose to smoke first thing after you wake
M: Your pont being..
S: [Blah Blah..Yadda Yadda]
M: Okay, if I were to do this waking up routing differently what should be
a normal person be sayin to you after he wakes up?
S: For one, have sex with me
M: [Ogling for the lack of better expression]
S: Then the second best thing would be to have coffee
M: Ok. I saw a fine Italian made espresso machine thats glinting by the side of
the kitchen. Let me make you some while I make one for myself.

So the caffeine fixed one awkward part of this party and I joined the mainstream audience at the same dinner table. People were more visibly agitated, drunk and were quite having fun. In a party there are never good or bad people, simply charming or boring folks. I steered my way to my appointed place and started sipping my steaming coffee. Remember the american couple T and D, of which the woman D started speaking about mountain lions and boars in the area. Her hubbie T narrates an incident when they were swimming naked and a wild boar was in the way to their home from the shore. I steered clear of comments (trust me, I know these moments where one needs to be silent) and chatted heartily with the old fella about things indian (like the taj mahal, lack of white lane markers on the road and other standard issue things) . D stares at me and starts the following conversation

D: So you are from India
Me: Proudly So.
D: I like your accent
Me: Thanks
D: How long is your [beep]

I was stultified at this question being asked across a dinner table in the presence of her drunk husband along with other inebriated folks who were trying to do their best to reduce the number of bottles in the cellar. Luckily, my host understood my aggravated situation and mediated to change the subject to more palatable topics. But then, he underestimated the persistence of this woman. She claimed curiosity to be the driving factor at which point I wanted to tell her that for normally distributed population these are the confidence intervals for this mean but that would be too much.

Later, after another round quick turkey burgers to fill up our tummies, D decided to launch the second attack on a different front this time.

D: Are you a virgin?
D: Great! I respect your for that and Trust me its gonna be a lot of
M: Duh! Err! Umm! TaaDaa!

Now D's husband takes an active interest in the future direction this talk should bear and makes this comment that he was playing with GI Joes when D was getting bored and decided to do something for fun. Then, I decided was the right time to call it a day. Thanked my host for having me and treating to some of the best wines. I drove off, thinking about a lot many things with the way these guys defined their lives. There used to be something that the jewish called "covenant" between folks that guided them to do some decent things be it in their marriage,co-worker or friend. Its very easy to break one and I see that guys who break one can easily break another whereas guys who keep one tend to keep most of theirs. Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Fame's Penny-Trumpet

Blow, blow your trumpets till they crack,
Ye little men of little souls!
And bid them huddle at your back -
Gold-sucking leeches, shoals on shoals!

Fill all the air with hungry wails -
"Reward us, ere we think or write!
Without your Gold mere Knowledge fails
To sate the swinish appetite!"

And, where great Plato paced serene,
Or Newton paused with wistful eye,
Rush to the chace with hoofs unclean
And Babel-clamour of the sty

Be yours the pay: be theirs the praise:
We will not rob them of their due,
Nor vex the ghosts of other days
By naming them along with you.

They sought and found undying fame:
They toiled not for reward nor thanks:
Their cheeks are hot with honest shame
For you, the modern mountebanks!

Who preach of Justice - plead with tears
That Love and Mercy should abound -
While marking with complacent ears
The moaning of some tortured hound:

Who prate of Wisdom - nay, forbear,
Lest Wisdom turn on you in wrath,
Trampling, with heel that will not spare,
The vermin that beset her path!

Go, throng each other's drawing-rooms,
Ye idols of a petty clique:
Strut your brief hour in borrowed plumes,
And make your penny-trumpets squeak.

Deck your dull talk with pilfered shreds
Of learning from a nobler time,
And oil each other's little heads
With mutual Flattery's golden slime:

And when the topmost height ye gain,
And stand in Glory's ether clear,
And grasp the prize of all your pain -
So many hundred pounds a year -

Then let Fame's banner be unfurled!
Sing Paeans for a victory won!
Ye tapers, that would light the world,
And cast a shadow on the Sun -

Who still shall pour His rays sublime,
One crystal flood, from East to West,
When YE have burned your little time
And feebly flickered into rest!

-Lewis Carroll

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The Recruit

I have been on a hunt to recruit the best fella I can find for my team. I have been on the other side of the fence but never realized that hiring someone was such a hard thing. Its hard because its not simply like selling a product or asking to team up with us, its hard because I am asking some individual to bet some of his life years in my organization. Scary type of an evangelism if you are a like me where you have your own doubts.Finally I hired a person who started today.

I always had a philosophy that if you recruit someone who isnt a fit its always a mistake of the folks who employs the person, not the person himself. This was the first recruitment I have done in my career and it took me 6 months to find this new candidate. The upside was for the first time I got a thumbs up from all 9 people I had him interview with.

Its interesting that this fellow has his bachelors' in environmental affairs but yet I voted him to know enough abour internet performance analytics given. I am betting on "diamond in the rough" philo here but then bets can go either way and the blame would be on me. My pipeline was almost empty for weeks and the qualifications I was looking for were rare enough that not enough people were in the pipeline to be interviewed and the right ones were already working. If I have such a hard time hiring in the valley, I wonder how folks back in India are hiring in droves while maintaining some semblance of quality/relevance.

Mostly the recruiters dont have a clue and try to make their number by sending in unwashed masses.Once ina while you get lucky and get a good one. I usually dont look too deep into resumes or ask them trivia questions like syntax or features based on a version. Similarly I dont like companies that ask them because it tells me about their standards.I usually ask my prospects to describe whats cool, why things work they way they are now, how they envision the future and finally the limitations of the well known tools (if you dont know the limitations of a popular tool you havent worked extensively enough). I am looking for signs of acuity, insight and understanding.Then I look for qualities like passion and integrity. Passion is neccesary because majority of folks at companies other than startups dont care about their work and it shows on the product (if you dont believe me take the counter example of Apple) plus it is easy to motivate people with passion. Integrity is important because your investment in the candidate would be well worth it apart from it being an infectious quality of making things right.

This exerscise tells me that I have to be on the lookout for the top talent all the time and not neccesarily when I have a vacancy because they are not neccesarily in the market when I want them, so I have to be hiring them when they want to move. In fact, I was literally begging a UC Berkeley grad working for another monster company to join us.

My final objective with this person is that I can take a long vacation and no one in my firm should remember my name in any context when I am on my vacation. We shall see if that happens for this christmas...

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween!

Its Nice day to segue slowly onto the holiday season.This is one holiday of the western calendar I love the most. Halloween. Obviously I wondered if the word "hallow" has any connections. It definitely does. Name the day after halloween when the heathen (who might have been scared to death the day before due to some random thing) were en masse allowed into the church? It used to be called Hallowmas (yeah! much like xmas) but officially called as "All Saints Day". I like these "eve" (fun) followed by serious things (mas). Mardi Gras marks the celebration followed by Ash Wednesday kinds, you get it na. I shall go carve turnips.

Searching for Scale

Notes to self:
Are there applications for the Mohring Effect at the packet levels of web applications? eBay made money on this model and created a monster market. I see a nice billion dollar market, increasing demand but increasing COGS as well.How do I drive down price at a constant COGS level with additional services added and hence able to serve more? How?Apparently I never graduated from school since I dont know the solution.

Friday, October 27, 2006

The Mood of the Week

My moods were exactly resonant with the pitch and timbre of this humming this week

Whats more its a fractal, it can only end on November 15..

Thursday, October 26, 2006

A Few Small Repairs

Sunny left a message today. Said "Hi":) After a hiatus of 3 years it felt nice to be remembered by an old acquaintance. T,myself and sunny went to the same grad school back home and now they are married with a kid.Gosh! For me out of sight really means out of mind. That single message trickled an avalanche of old souvenirs in the memory lane. How hard it was to persuade T to take the first steps, the holi where I told him to see life in red hue, and the later turmoil after I left them and as they say "All's Well That Ends Well!"

Coincidentally I was playing a song recently whose lyrics I used as an inspiration for T in a contorted sense to "patofy" her.

Like a delicate sound in the backdrop of thunder
look at you standing still amidst the lightning flares
melting in the indian sun
casting a shadow in moonlight

like a tune out of someone's veena in the street

imagination in front of desire's doodles..
a light ray that would never reach its source

Damn Funny Lyrics to translate plus it made a whole lotta sense then.Now, I feel like Rajat Kapoor narrating a story a la "suraj ka saatwan ghoda"

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Some Things That Fly - Part 2

  • Running Down a Dream
  • Running From It
  • Running For It
  • Standing Your Ground
  • Not Backing Down
  • Respecting the Things You Don't Understand
  • Understanding the Things You Don't Respect
  • Loving It When a Plan Comes Together
  • Not Doing the Things You Do
  • Counting the Waves
  • Turning Your Back On The Crowd
  • Daybreak

Monday, October 02, 2006

Another Day Of Getting Older..

Lucky Ali's in his album "Aks" start off with a croony : "Yeh, sawera chale, jaise milne aa gaye mujhse sab dost mere ." Occasionally I wondered how would I react if such a thing happened. I came close to it when most of my friends either called up or wrote emails on this particular day. The last known such constellation of "dosts" was for my graduation when we had a rocking time after which slowly one after another returned home to India. The official count of people who didnt return in my orbital is 2 (including myself). We all could trade a little growth for happiness is the lesson that I learnt from them.

Dad took me by surprise when he found an old manuscript where I was taking some survey notes on Casimir Effect. It was a nice gesture from him taking the time to exactly reproduce it (including my typos/spelling mistakes). Since he sent it to me electronically I wanna store it somewhere like this blog. Its a lot of work considering all those subscript/superscript/greek symbol stuff.Here it is

Most people think vacuum is place where there is absolutely no matter, a place that contains absolutely nothing. However such a thing is impossible. So a vacuum is actually where there is very little matter . A good vcuum means almost lack of air, dust and other samples of matter. Note the keyword here almost. But one theory which caught up in 1970s was the Universe can be considered as a vacuum fluctuation. It states that the Universe and everything in it may be no more or no less than than one of those vacum fluctuation that allow collections of particles to burt forth out of nothing fo a while and then be reabsorbed into the vacuum. This idea closely comes on the heels of the idea that the Universe may be a closed system. A Universe that is born in the fireball of Big Bang,expands for a time and that contracts back into fireball and disappear is a vcuum fluctuation on a grand scale.

We know that the gravitaional energy of the Universe must be negative (i.e becase it is bound). So this negative gravitational energy must precisely cancel out the positive mass energy of all matter in it.(E=Mc²)). Hence a closed Universe has a Zero energy overall. This idea can be traced out to 19th century Physicist Ludwig Boltzmann,one of the founders of statistical mechanics. He guessed that the Universe ought to be Thermodynamical Equilibrium,(which it is not when created.) So its present form is temporary stage on the way to reach it which is allowed by statistical rules provided that ht e equilibrium is maintained on average in the long run. In 1971 Edward Tryon of city Univarsity of New York submitted a paper in Nature (vol.246,P396,1973)where he developed an Idea that Big Bang as a vacuum fluctuation,but he pointed out there the time allowed for its existance in line with delta(e) delta(t) = h/2*pi can be a very long time indeed.This concept finally led to baby universes "inflation"& concepts such as these. from "70s we re used to this idea. But this notion is not based on any definite model of what a quntized field system is and hence the present approach which is based on Hamilton-Jacobi formalism leads to very different picture. V.field: In this formalism the vacuum is a non co-variant concept.i.e It will be observed that the field is static.(i.e. this is valid only in a preferred Lorenz frame.)But no experiment abiding by the quantum theory can find a frame in which vacuum field appears static. Though unobservable,the concept of vacuum is helpful in understanding the physics of Quantum field theory. It is similar to the ether concept in physics in which Einistien pointed out that ether is compatible with special relativity if we deprive it of any mechanical qualities.When quantum mechanics is applied to a radiation field by Born,Heisenberg&Jordan the out come was

e(ns) =(ns + ½)h עs

where ns=0,1,2 gives the spectrum of energy level.

Increase of ns corresponds to emmission(or creation) of photons while decrease represents vice versa Thus the state of the radiation field can thus be specified by writing down in an ordered sequennce the number of photons present corresponding to the various frequncies.This is the "occupation number". The word 'vacuum' is a misnomer in this context since space is filled with a field which carrys energy. Now even "Grand space" is not proper as since we will see later that by a change of boundry conditions in reg.egns we can attain a state of lower energy. So even for an occupation number "Zero' the field does have a Zero point energy as given by the

∑ ' (½)hעs.

A field is a useful concept used to describe particles. The moment we talk about a field, we must be able to specify its amplitude as a function of space and time. The Amplitude could refer to a scalar field,vectorfield or spinor field. At this point we must note that thehre are two types vacuum one has to deal with:

vacuum associated with electron field

vacuum associaated with electromagnetic radiation.

In case of the electron field we deal with a spinor field ψ (sanpace,time) and in case of EM file we deal with vector field amplitude A(Spae,time).But having a field amplitude Ψ does not suffice to deal with a many paarticle system as Dirac used it to only for one electron system.To customise it for many elctron environment one must first declare Ψ as an operator and then specify its anti communator ψ (r',t').

Vaccum associated with EM field : The quantum theory as noted earlier does not
consider vaacuum s a state of emptiness.In this formalisation the vacuum state of electromagnetic field. corrresponds to all the radiation oscillators being in their quiscent state. Their occupation number is Zero and are called Zeropoint oscillator We can consider the vacuum state of field by ψ 0 us. Now on a practical level, one creates or annihilates photons in a paraticular state,say k. For this purpose one defines the annihilation operators a+k ak in terms of A. Similarly we define creation and annihilation operatoars b+k, bk in terms of ψ In this Hamilton -Jacobi formalism, an asumption of classical field is made.The assumption is that " At each instant 't' in a field has a well-defined value for all X Whatever be the state of the field.".Hence in this formalism made creation & annihilation operators araae respectively given by
ak+ = (2k)-½ (kq*k - δ/δqk )

ak- = (2k)-½ (kqk - δ/δqk* )

where k = ‌│k│ and satisfy the commonation relations:

[ ak, ak '] = ( ak+ , ak"+ )=0; (ak, ak+ ) =δkk'

In some literature the factor of K is on the right hand side where as in some it has a factor of k-1 on the left hand side. The vacuum state of the field ψ 0 is the stationary state defined by the requirement ak ψ 0 =0 for each K. where ak is the annihilation
operator.Using 1,above, we have:((kq*k+ δ/δqk* ) ψ0 = 0 for each K

or equivalency[ (─‌‌‌►2 ½ ψ (x) +δ/δ(x)] ψ 0=0 for each x

where (─‌‌‌►2 ½ ψ = v - ½ Σ ',kqk e'k .x is the limit of continuous K.

Solution of these differntial equations yields usψ 0 (q,q*,t) =N.Π k/2 e-k q k* q k ─i
or can be simplified asψ 0 (q,q*,t) =N e- ½ ∫ ψ (x) (─‌‌‌►2 )½ ψ. ψ (x).δ3x─1 Єot ---6 where the normalisation constant isN = .Π k/2 (k/Π) ½Now in these coordinates the Schroedinger's equation becomes:i ∂ψ/∂t =∑,' [ ─∂²/∂ q k ∂ k* +k2 ∂ k* q k )------------------------7 k/2 Now the energy could be found directly by direct substitution in to 7 above. to be asЄ0 = ∑,' k/2clearly this is infinte.Confirmation:The equation 5 above is a product of the modes, it is the ground state of an infinite set of independent operators.As we know that the oscillator is at rest,to confirm this,we note to a constant the phase of the wave function given by S= Є0 t.Thus the time evolution obtained as a solution of a guidance formula in Hamilton -Jaacobi formulation.

∂ψ(x,t)/\ ∂t =δ S[(ψ (x),t]/δ ψ (x)

ψ (x)= [(ψ (x),t]/ will become ∂ψ/ ∂t= δ S/δψ=0 or

ψ (x,t) = ψ (x) and hence the field is static. Thus the "Zeropoint" energy,─

δ S/ ∂t =0. This Є0 resides in a quantum

Vacuum Associated with an Electron field : In the dirac theory all the -ve energy states are filled leading to the so-callead Dirac Sea. Now suppose that tahe elctron has an electrostatic energy Є defined by a function of the distance 'r'. i.e ε(r). If we now consisder a cell of unit volume at a distance r the energy content of the cell is ⅛Π ε² (r). (it is proved before). Hence the total Electrostatic energy is given by

E= ⅛Π ∫ε²(r).dv.

Now if we consider point charges i.e radius of the electron → 0 then E→∞ ;

if a=0 then Є=∞

But as the celebrated scientist Mr.Richard.P.Feynman said that the infinite energy may be annoying,but what really matters is whether there are any observable physical effects. If the changes on energy are Infinite then we are in trouble.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

For the Cuckoo Flew

As the fresh fall wind blew
Am wondering if there is any bru
between me and you
flowing through the rouge rue

If so, throw me a clue
that embeds your view
lest my thoughts turn black and blue
and that should my mind slew

I'll be here, praying on a pew
with every nerve and sinew
waiting to hear that music new

Recently read Vonnegut's "Man without a Country" (coutesy of Hirak) in which he says

Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy one. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something

The above verse is such an attempt. You dont need to buy the book, please go the local library to check out this book and as as a bonus you get to see what kind of community you are living in .

Friday, September 29, 2006


Exactly today last year I took upon this job I have currently. I can safely look back at an year to date and think it is the best year of my career so far. Six months of it, I spent 12 hours per day another 3 months working 10 hours average. I just wanted to see if I can give my best and see what its like. So far I am extremely contented with the results as it was a labor of love.

I belong to a pre-sales group with the charter to convert a prospect into a customer within 4 weeks or less by making sure everything they need from a technical standpoint is in place. Now, this required cross functional liasing skills to make sure I delivered what my sales folks needed. Before I knew I was on the rolls of engineering, operations and sales while I properly belonged to marketing. Looking back, I am fortunate to be placed in such a role as I never have been bored with my job (yeah! there are always occasional dips but thats normal in any job?). Other than high sea piracy and hedge fund management there are very few opportunities to my knowledge that offered this kind of variety. Every week had some share of talking to the customers and making them subscribe to my religion (which is my companie's service) , administer a bunch of systems, write scripts both to measure and validate stuff, write code to build tools that make it easier,recommend product changes by passing on what I see in the field and ultimately evangelize the good stuff with both customers and other partners. Yes! I liked every one of these functions thought my core function is to analyse and report on HTTP related stuff.

Not many firms I know would give such a free rein to people just because they like doing. Just because I was doing something right enough to inspire confidence so that I can be let loose on the rest of the roles isnt actually good enough reason that many folks would say okay. As organizations grow, they dont like these kind of cowboy actions of a different team in their turf as it gets kinda feudal. As we all know, good growth of feudalism ultimately leads to some despotism which isnt uncommon in today's business. I chose my current organization over a much bigger well known one for precisely avoiding that problem. I thank my employer for allowing me to do what I believed would help us in the long run.

And today is a piece of history for us and I am proud to be a part of this revolution. We have our best quarter yet where closed this quarter with our best ever numbers. The number of customers have tripled since I joined and churn rate was practically zero. Our P & L statement looks fabulous and we might be on our way to an initial public offering sometime next year.Yes, these kind of things happen in the valley a lot but I am excited about this just like Z in Antz

And, y'know, I finally feel like I've found my place. And you know what?
It's right back where I started. But the difference is, this time I chose it.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Quote of the Day

If it is language that makes us human, one half of language is to listen.
Silence can exist without speech, but speech cannot exist without silence.
Listen to the speech of others, listen even more to their silence.
-Jacob Trapp

Monday, September 25, 2006


Closely look at all the various fields that have the concept of closure. You see there is a common thread uniting all of those definitions. Anyhow when I was first introduced to closure in an elementary math class it sounded very close and intuitively appealing to me.

It boiled down to something like this: lets say all we know about is integers and suddenly we are asked to express the diagonal of a square with side of 1 meter. You'll be at a loss to express it in terms of integers as it more than a certain integer(1) and less than another integer(2) but you can never measure it off precisely using your tools (because your tools can only measure integer lengths). Well, you can do it by subdividing the tools but its a process that will take you aeons and after a lengthy stint you'll need a insight to see that this process of subdivision can produce the same result as sqrt(2).Thats what evolution is about (lower primate in us loves to go through the process whereas some other higher form tells us there is another way). When we have this way, we say the issue is "closed" under some arbitrary property.

I tend to think certain emotions need to be closed in the sense you know of a category to put them in place. Just like in sorcery, if you name something you have power over them.(in the above case, simply call such numbers "irrational", define them rigorously and boom! you are a master).

I just "closed" such an issue for myself today. Its been more than 5 years since this bugged me in some corner of my mind like a crow.(actually they were much like a terminate and stay resident (TSR) programs that were written as viruses in C under early DOS versions..remember the "cookie monster" or "raindrop" virus? today, for me it is like cleaning the interrupt vector table(IVT) and restoring it to default). It feels really good to reach such a closure.

The only sad part is that with every closure the complexity/bloat increases slightly and sometimes you gotta give up something (for example, the closure of real numbers lead to complex numbers that costed us the relational operators like greater than,less than,equals to) . Life is complex: has both the real and imaginary parts :)

The Razor's Edge

I had my best weekend of this year to date. My friend M used to say I loved to live the characters of a book and this time it just coincidentally so happened that I was straight in a situation where life imitated art.

A nice co-worker of mine extended me an invitation to join him at his ranch for the weekend. We picked up charcoals,meat,sodas,ec (the usual stuff) and drove out in a monster 4x4 all the way to his ranch.

By the time we were off-road close to the ranch I knew I was in for something special .It had a beautiful road winding up to the mountain (almost picture perfect) and the only place where we could actually sit on the middle of the road and smoke.We also found a lovely bunch of Wild turkeys across the road.The way to the ranch also had to pass through other people's ranches and hence it involved opening something like 10 gates before we were in his ranch (reminded me of the movie "The Ninth Gate" which is a very cool one to watch). The funny part was each ranch owner had his lock on each of those gates and opening any one would leave the gate open.Very nice idea I must say.

And then we went up through a canyon to our desired destination which exactly looked like Walden. I mean to the letter perfect. The only sounds I could hear was the sounds of a distant woodpecker on a tree and the rattling of a housefly's wings. This particular house is nestled on a small hillock situated between 2 peaks. Whats more my co-worker made sure it had all modern amenities like DirecTV, A/C, etc in the middle of nowhere. Then we had a nice barbeque using the grill under a tree. After a sumptous dinner, we moved towards a place where we used a bunch of quarter-logs to create a campfire while sipping beer. Then I just glanced up to see the whole sky lit up with stars. Being in Urban locations deprives you of the complete view of the sky. We were following the milky way, ursa major and orion the hunter. We could hear the coyotes howl in the middle of the night and smiled to ourselves that we had fire (It was a moon less night and fire is guaranteed to scare away any such animal). It was just cool to end the day like that.

Woke up early morning,made coffee and then I saw a giant cargo container (like the ones used for shipping). While I was wondering what was housed inside it, I saw a buch of quails pass through our path. Then quietly sipping coffee I spotted a weaver bird (or something like it) right on top of my head around the tree. It was a beautiful structure. After drinking in the sunlight sitting around and watching all kinds of birds (I saw Magpies too) I went in the cargo container and saw a mini tool shop(had all kinds of axes, sawzalls,power tools) but what caught my eye was the 3 ATVs (All Terrain Vehicles much like Kinetic Honda but larger in size). Hopping up on one of those we decided to explore the terrain. My colleague offered to show me a nice spot and we went riding on it across the mountains. While negotiating the ridgeline between two peaks I beheld a magnificent sight of the valleys below me.

He took me to a plane crash site where an old Cessna seems to have crashlanded with its tires were in the bushes (yeah! Dunlop is Dunlop) some metal plates on the grass and some other debris. But then the beauty was not about the crash but about the site. Looked like a mustard plantation but it happened to be a dry grass of some sort. This is where I saw the most beautiful butterfly in my life. It was very small but had an exquisite fractal like shape etched on its wings with a symmetric precision. I followed it for a while only to see that there was also this huge dragonfly (just like those big aircraft carriers which carry planes inside their bellies). A few honeybees were hovering around a hive in a tree.I clearly see the bluejays open their wings and close immediately almost like that of a hop skip jump motion that leaves a flicker of blue in your eyes. The wind had an upwardly draft and for one moment when it hit my face I suddenly felt I became one with the universe :)

Shape I may take, converse I may, but neither god nor Buddha am I, rather an insensate being whose heart thus differs from that of man

On our way back, just like old times we chopped some firewood out of Oak. Then I had a surprise. My co-worker bought a set of handguns for target practicing.I Never held a gun in my life (apart from the winchester bolt-action rifle used in NCC) and I was given the lowest powered one in his repertoire. It happens to be a 9mm Ruger P89. It was very hard to land one shot on the target board leave alone bulls eye. The recoil, hand posture and stance completely make it hard for an inexperienced guy like me. All in all, I can see why these toys can be quite additcive. Gives you a sense of power and all those adrenalin rushing sensations. It was still fun to fire them just like I shoot golf balls at the driving range.

We had some nice hot dogs for lunch over the charcoal grill. Rested for a while watching "The Last of the Mohicans" on an old 1960 RCA telly. Finally as it was about to get dark we wrapped up, turned off solar panel/generator/water supply, etc locked up and started to return.

The way back was almost a zoological expedition. We first saw a coyote being chased out of a range by 2 horses. Then we saw a rattlesnake at a distance but the best sighting was that of a wild boar eating acorns.Actually found 3 of them with black bodies and white tusks. Cows and Horses are always expected in a ranch but not this much wild life. A few cottontail rabbits crossed our trail on the way back and at the gates.I cam back watching those mountains make way to the causeways and back to the city.

The whole point of this incident is that I managed to understand the "Kafka On the Shore"

You sit at the edge of the world,
I am in a crater that’s no more.
Words without letters
Standing in the shadow of the door

Now I know how riddles form a part of the solution. I need to go sleep now. Or if you prefer Dream..

Thursday, September 21, 2006


Whenever I listen to the first track of this movie, I always think of my sister and probably how happy were parents were(it is possible to vaguely correlate with a particular emotion in temporal dimensions:). I Cannot believe she is a mother herself now..

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Music Recommendation

I recently discovered this underground rap/hiphop group called "Gnarls Barkley" who have some fundoo lyrics in their now popular song called "Crazy". Here they are:

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was
something so pleasant about that phase.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space
And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I
was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew
too much
Does that make me crazy

And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice,
that's my only advice
Come on now, who do you, who do you, who
do you,
who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think
you're in control
Well, I think you're crazy
Just like me

My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb and all I remember
is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I
was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I
can die when I'm done
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Timing is Everything

I made the my best tea and coffee, to date, in a single day. I felt like not going to work when I woke up so worked from home taking my own sweet time for everything.

At 3:00 pm yesterday I yearned for a 'cup of tea'. The secret for a good tea is the time the brew very well. A second more on the heat can spoil it as well as a second late in adding the tea can make it bland. It made me realize that making proper tea is akin to playing the violin. You dont have any markers but rely on the fact that your finger is going to smoothly slide from note to another.

After a very good volleyball match, I returned with a couple of my acquaintances and made coffee for four. Making good coffee on the stove is akin to playing a guitar. You know you can get the same note provided your finger is right on the marker but beautiful nevertheless. The dependence on timing is a li'l less than that of tea but can enhance the quality.

Now I need to repeat this exerscise atleast 20 more times before I can get the same taste again.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Monday, September 04, 2006

The Provincialism of America

I dont need to say more. Kipling took notes of america more than 100 years back in 1890 and I can say some things in his notes havent changed. The next time I visit the Golden Gate, I definitely shall remember the verse by Bret Harte

"Serene, indifferent to fate,
Thou sittest at the Western Gate;
Thou seest the white seas fold their tents,
Oh, warder of two continents;
Thou drawest all things, small and great,
To thee, beside the Western Gate."

And tommorow at Pier 39 our temple's ganesh would be immersed which would be quite a sight :)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Pulling Coffee

My microwave conked and suddenly I am challenged on how best to make coffee. I am not a big fan of these electric stoves plus they never distribute heat evenly and as quickly as the gas based ones but then I had only those. So I used them to make coffee, madras style by pulling it over and over.I was really satisfied not because of the taste but because of the process involved to get to the morning cup of coffee.

Anyways while I was savoring, as usual my subconscious retrieves something in the distant past. This time it was a jingle for Nestle Sunrise. I am not sure if the current day ads still carry the same jingle but had a beautiful rhythm sayin that if you meet folks then you can share taste of something like that. Suchitra Krishnamurthy happens to be in one of the ads and I have seen the rendition in 3 different languages and I love all of them.

Since this was last Friday, I drove over to Berkeley on Saturday, picked up an old mate and his girlfriend only to come back to a local cafe that was serving turkish coffee and persian ice cream.
Ads do work :)

Friday, August 11, 2006


I have been tagged on this by orthodoc

One book that changed my life: Dancing Naked in the Mind Field and The Name of the Rose

One book I have read more than once: Like OrthoDoc I am a big fan of Holmes and read it like thrice

One book I would want on a desert island: Midnight's Children

One book that made me laugh: The Great Indian Novel

One book that made me cry: Cats Cradle

One book that I wish had been written: Someone's Love story that I know.

One book I wish had never been written: Every book is worth writing but if you mean books that dont add value to the trees they are printed on, then there are a lot of books particularly self-help ones.

One book I am currently reading: Thomas Kuhn's The Structure of Scientific Revolutions

One book I have been meaning to read:Gravity's Rainbow

Now it not always necessary to spread the meme by specifying certain names so let me do a voluntary infection. Anyone reading this can be assumed as tagged if they are willing to answer the same in their blogs/typepads/spaces.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Of This and That

Every so often I have to leave the country to stay in the country. Basically I need to leave the US to submit my credentials to a consulate outside the US that I have some business staying here since I am a citizen of India and am here on a work permit. Now, I cannot wait till my later trip in India because the law says I need to have a valid passport/visa/work permit .Anyways to spare the torture I needed to go to a Canadian Consulate to get a visitor visa so that I can go to Canada and get my US visa stamp refreshed. This gave me an opportunity to leave the country for a couple of days.

I chose Vancouver, British Columbia for this purpose.You see the airport is nestled between coastal mountain ranges on one side and water on three sides. It was a spectacular sunset landing. I have always liked cities with a distinct character. If Jane Jacobs saw this city I was sure that she would have included a study in her book. Everytime I enter Canada, I can sense the european cultural values that these people kind of carry. At Midnight, I was hungry and found a falafel place that served warm samosas, falafel and a shawarma. It was run by a lebanese woman who told me that she reserves the worst for some folks in the world.

The next day as usual, the folks at the consulate were rude and kind of inorganic in the whole setting. Apart from that minor episode, I roamed about to see what else was in the offing. First off, I found this beautifully architected building which happened to be a public library where I devoured what I could find for the rest of the day stepping out only for food. Later in the evening I found another nice post office building sandwiched between theaters. Added a couple of stamps to my collection after a gap of 14 years. Theaters were sadly empty as no shows were scheduled.

I took the cheapest accomodation in the downtown which was kind of dingy and reminded me of Wilde's quote

"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."

I checked out the history and not surprisingly it was erected in 1910. While it had history behind it my mind was reeling under a movie I watched earlier called "Far Side of the Moon". The story was so tragico-comic that I had to wake up every hour or so before my appointment. So much for a smooth segue into sleep at a different place.

The next morning I checked out a local bookshop and I tell you if you are in Vancouver next time and you like reading its an absolute must that you visit this book store called "MacLeods" which is at the interesection of Richards and W Pender St. These guys practically have first editions of every famous books plus some archaic collections of works on a subject of your choice.

One easy way to size up a book store is to ask how many books they carry under the category of "Mathematical Fiction" (you know the ones like FlatLand and AFAIK the total number of books in the category is around 24) . To my surprise the host took the keys and showed me a way to another branch which is by appointment only (for serious researchers and the kind) and Bingo! I have added a new book called "The Thread" to my existing collection. It was so much fun to be at that place scented with the aroma that uniquely belongs to old books under humid conditions. Later in the evening I walked by the old gastown and tried to decipher the workings of the world's first steam powered clock(Obviously I failed).

There's a bunch of places I could have been but its terribly lonely to tour on those tour buses or simply do the touristy thing unless you have someone to talk to and enjoy with. So that might be one reason why I avoided the parks, suspension bridges and the likes. I regretted advancing my reservation to one day earlier without staying for the weekend. Oh Well!

Back Home, the pleasant thing was to be surprised when a customer sends you a thank you gift. Despite the accolades one might earn internally, an unplanned surprise move by someone shows something else. I remember when I was at grad school helping out a middle aged woman in the lab and the next day she made an apple pie and got it to the lab as a token of appreciation. I tell you these interesting gestures have a very positive reinforcement in me :)

Saturday, July 15, 2006


The furrowed brows,
The drained handshakes,
The empty laughter,
Magnesium burning in the sea water only to become glass,
The Shadowless,
The lack of tears and the swelling of loss,
The look of the beginning rather than the faded memory of less,
If I dont kill it now, it shall return again,
Oh ! Othello, Desdemona doesnt exist but in you dreams,
listening to the trumpet in the background rather than inviting the clarionet in the foreground,
You are a Hero when there are issues
and Nothing when there aren't any issues...

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


In the wake of the recent blasts I was really concerned for my family and friends around in the city. Half fearing for the worst I called one by one and thank goodness things are okay with them. As soon as I hung up the last call I am okay and a normal person whistling my way away.

So all this proves my own belief that pain is nothing if it is not personal. Homage to those victims.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Fear and Trembling

If there were no eternal consciousness in a man,
if at the foundation of all there lay only a wildly seething power
which writhing with obscure passions produced everything that is great
and everything that is insignificant,
if a bottomless void never satiated lay hidden beneath all
–what then would life be but despair?

If such were the case,
if there were no sacred bond which united mankind,
if one generation arose after another like the leafage in the forest,
if the one generation replaced the other like the song of birds in the forest,
if the human race passed through the world as the ship goes through the sea,
like the wind through the desert, a thoughtless and fruitless activity,
if an eternal oblivion were always lurking hungrily for its prey
and there was no power strong enough to wrest it from its maw
–how empty then and comfortless life would be!

Mr. MN: Please read this classic.


When I was a kid growing around Hyderabad I saw this standard issue blue background white font governement style board titled National Institute of Amateur Radio stuck inorganically around a fast developing community in Somajiguda. Since anything with the words"amateur", "dilettante" attract me like a moth to the flame, I checked them out to find out about this. But then there was paperwork involved with an examination to pass, etc. which took it off my list.

Now after 15 years, I am finally licensed by the FCC to operate on amateur radio bands with the call sign KI6EGH. All thanks to my co-worker called Mike Myers (Yeah! He shares the same quality of making you laugh and think at the same time) who introduced me to this hobby and getting me my first transceiver. Did you know that Rajiv Gandhi met Sonia over ham radio (as a precursor to this modern day chatting). ? I forgot their call signs.

One of the first internet chat services was called ICQ with "CQ" being radio code for calling anyone over RF.Any of you hams reading this can reach me over the 2 meter band (usually around the 144.93 MHz range).

So this converts my official status of pig to a ham :)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Of Castor & Pollux...

Hmm..Almost a month since my last posting and my social life looks as empty as hell. This problem of not thinking about one's folks' is the other end of the spectrum problem of crushing loneliness (in fact I think this end causes the other end to happen).better to have too much work than its alternative...have flown to east coast 2 times in the last 20 days and now on the road to LA..

I would like use my little space here to jot down all who matter the most to me but couldnt get to wish in time. [Drumrolls in the background]

Belated Returns of the Day P, Hope your first bday in marital bliss is well spent...


Happy Bday M..Sorry I cannot attend your wedding but wanted to let you know that I am happy for you and extend my welcome to her from the family..

Kiddo, Have a Jolly good time at the training and hopefully you are wiser by this birthday (relative to the last). You know the extent of my corporatization when I say throw the party and expense it to me..Either ways really glad hearing news about you from Pa.


Guthhi.I know your day loiters around the week of June 7-13 but not quite sure..See..I made your wish come true..All that alcohol has a memory loss aspect particularly when it comes to your bday.

(Special Trumpets playing the sine wave harmonics)

Mr. MN, As naturally as M follows N, you would be chasing some girls (either in reality or in dreams) on your day.I cant help with that but here's a thought that makes it easier.This is gonna be your last frickin day to be spent celibate. Either of 2 things happen and you know what they are..Sorry for harassing you over the web like this but as usual, my warm wishes bud!

(Bass Guital! Tchhhorus !)

Finally, the best of all, my mom. Here's wishing you health and happiness Ma..


Sunday, May 07, 2006

The TimeScale of the Mythic Indian Universe

* A lousy random rambling follows *

Calendars always held my fancy because of the way we strike out order of the chaos. Imagine the day when the sun first set and a caveman who missed the sun immediately blamed his next door neighbor for the debacle of sun setting (probably might have killed him for this crime as well). Then the next day when sun rises again probably he wouldnt congratulate his next door neighbor(remember, he is dead) and would have repented his deed thus marking the time/place for further oblations. So there is a need for calendar for one of these events.

* End of the lousy random rambling *

Well, anyways people want to remember events and things in a nice way. Since as one involved with computers we seek to attack a problem in general ways than in special ways, my thought begat a question as to whats the oldest thing one can remember? Or more generally whats the oldest memory of human civilization? Our legends, folklores, mythology and religious anecdotes. Each civilization has its own but I want to think about one which is in the Indian consciousness and the following comes from reading the myths of the hindus.

* Start of a Functional Theory *

A cycle (kalpa) is first defined as a single day in the life of a creator,(usually Brahma but thats not relevant here) which is also assigned as the lifetime of the milyway galaxy.The further breakdown of a cycle is established as being equivalent to 12,000 years of the gods.Now, this is interesting for the fact that the gods themselves are not supreme and subject to a higher accountability. The equivalence of 12,000 god-years is 4,320,000,000 earth-years. (In english that translates as four billion three hundred twenty million years and to put in context the solar system itself is currently estimated to be 4.54 billiong years.At the close of a day everything is resolved into chaos (pralaya). Slate Clean. When the creator wakes up and then does some accounting as to who goes into higher plane (beyond all 3 worlds) and then recreates all 3 worlds (only latent germ of neccesary stuff from the old is preserved for remanifestation). These 3 worlds have be populated with folks whose histories in the previous cycle deem them to be.
Apparently the night has to be equal to that of a day in the time frame of the creator for the above to ensue.
Now the most interesting question of who's watching the watcher. Namely, how is time distributed to the creator himself? This has the answer that our creator (who can never be known but aspects of him can be rediscovered) is assigned a 100 creator-years. At the end of this assigned time not only the three worlds, gods, men, all things are merged into the chaos but essentially the creator himself should self-destruct. This is called "maha-pralaya". This particular period lasts for another 100 creator-years when there will be a new creator and his new creation. The only forces are the causality from actions in the past and sometimes neccessity (which is orthogonal to reason and emotions). That is both evolution and involution are represented as neccesary but no logic is assigned to it. So far theses is the major alternations on a macro scale.

Now, consider the so called "minor" alternations in the day of the creator. A single day is composed of 14 manvantaras. (manu is the generic name for a teacher and antara is the time elapsed between sections). At the end of each section, as usual, the world is deluged swallowing continents and living beings.

Now for the further decomposition of the single day in the life of a creator into yugas.A "maha-yuga" equals a 1000 yuga cycles. A single yuga cycle can be decomposed into 4 parts as Satya,Treta, Dvapara and Kali. The first consists of one million seven hundred twenty-eight thousand (1,728,000) years., the second one million two hundred ninety-six thousand (1,296,000), the third eight hundred sixty-four thousand (864,000) and the last four hundred thirty-two thousand (432,000).

Lets see if the math adds up. A single yuga cycle equals 1,720,000+1,296,000+864,000+432,000 = 4,320,000. A thousand yugs equal a single kalpa so multiplying this number by 1000 gives us the earth years number exact. Atleast this sticks.

* End of Functional Theory *

If we were to abode by the above theory then currently the year is 2006. This is the 6006 year of Kaliyuga of the present maha-yuga (leaves us 425994 years more to go before we blow up). This "maha-yuga" is the 28th maha-yuga in the seventh manvantara of our kalpa.( for those interested in names, the presiding manu is Vaivasvata and the kalpa is called Varaha).A little more "recent" events to give a sense of where we are is that Mahabharata happened during Treta yuga and Ramayana in Dvapara.

Of if you prefer more chronological events, the birth of Brahma at the first kalpa out of a lotus (so we all know lotuses are older than Brahma :), the boar incarnation in the first, ganjendra moksham (elephant liberated from crocodile) in the fourth and the churning of the ocean in the sixth kalpa.

Phew! Fatboy slim said the same thing in much compressed format :)

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Selection Functions

After a brief brush with matrimonial exerscises six months back, my parents gave me back the baton to proceed as I see fit and let them know of my choice. I havent done anything on that front till the last week and my folks were slowly thinking about wresting back the control knobs for accelerating this process, which brings me to this musing.

In an effort to see what can be done via online communuties, I did the usual thingy of putting up my profile and stuff. It also happens that you can search for people based on certain search criteria. I have seen profiles that were straitjacketed into the standard a/s/l, hobbies,demographic data, etc. almost like I am analysing census data for this year. These are profiles that never moved me despite the desi tradition of micromanaging the details .The only part of this standardized user interface o, where personas can be expressed happened in the section where people write about themselves, the free form text field where you write something (with the assumption that the person willing to be married is writing it as opposed to someone else in the family or friends). This is the only bit where someone's taste shows up. Sadly, most folks put in 2 liners like "I am a [adjective], [adjective] and [adjective] person. To know more, write to me." Some of the stuff is written by parents in ALL CAPS thus making it seem like they are akin to a towncrier advertising for the latest news or what have you. Then there are folks who spout inanities like "I am a fun-loving person". (who isnt? ) or some blanket statement like "I am a broad minded person" whereas in their partner preferences you see a contradiction that contracts the sample space for that person's search is almost zero within the same online matrimonial site (or their competitor). If you dont believe me, you should try this just for the heck of it. In essence, it is very confusing for me. I know I should proceed it the way I do and use the online thing just as a selection criteria for further distillation but somehow something in me tells I am missing out on something of a protocol that is very well understood by these folks.

I understand the Darwinian theory attributes that selection of mates is not based on how intelligent/rational/elegant the mating partner is, but more for survival and reproducability. That is, if I have an Einstein, a Farmer and a Woman who can bear 10 children, the darwinian selection algorithm would choose the woman which means the genius of einstein would be lost for the next generation.

One of the first projects I was involved was, in a genetic algorithm for a game called "Reversi" where it was upto our group to decide what we wanted to code into our so called utiility function that would be used as a criteria by another selection function to make the best move in a given situation. We just coded it to do one thing alone (which was dont care for the opponents' score but aim for getting the diagnoal squares) and it worked well enough that it beat one of the best humans to play the game. Thrice. That was our professor.But then that was a simple term project.

I recollect there was an experiment done by neurosurgeons who removed the part of brain responsible for emotions,etc so that they have this cold calculating human who will always be rational and make the best move. Guess What? The fellow couldnt get out of his hospital bed as his brain was thrown into a loop about calculating should he get up or not. The point here being that emotions feed the rationality of the brain. Each half cannot survive without the other.

So all in all, I need to have a particular selection criteria so that I can set my partner preferences in those (just maligned) online matrimony sites. I think it can be put in one statement : "I should choose someone for no reason at all". That is, I shouldnt be able to express why I like a certain person. If I can say I like so and so because of these xyz reasons, then the lack of xyz in future would cause some issues.( not really a bright logic here but serves the justification) . So the best selection algorithm available for me is that I should like someone but for no reason whatsoever that making sure that I have no reason to dislike her too. Strangely this starts to sound like a Caffeine Deficiency Syndrome posts by gvenum. That means I have to stop now :-)

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

The God Abandons Anthony

"When suddenly there is heard at midnight

A company passing invincible

With wonderful music, with voices, -Your fortune giving way now,

your works, Which have failed, the plans of a lifetime

All turned illusions, do not mourn uselessly.

As one prepared long since, courageously,

Say farewell to her, to Alexandria who is leaving.

Above all do not be tricked, never say it was All a dream,

and that your hearing was deceived;

Do not stop to such vain hopes as these.

As one prepared long since, courageously,

As becomes one worthy as you were of such a city,

Firmly draw near the window,

And listen with emotion but not with the complainings and entreaties of cowards,

Listen, your last enjoyment, to the sounds,

The wonderful instruments of the mystic company,

And say farewell, farewell to Alexandria you are losing.


--> by Constantinos P. Cavafy

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Another Season

Its been a while since I was here. Occasionally a hiatus from anything you do can only be good. It teaches you a lot of things. For the last 90 days I havent been in touch with my folks or did things over weekends that I normally was used to. It taught me how far could I go without breaking down and what more important to me in life from the perspective of values.

I didnt write because I didnt feel like it. When I have started writing here, I was frequent because words conveyed more than silence. I stop when I feel that words cannot outperform silence. Its amazing how my brain makes connections to work even though I do other things.( For example the earlier spent make me think that on the internet we compress things like text files only because the time spent in compression/decompression more than compensates for the propogation time of the same content over a network). Of late, I have also discovered a special joy of programming in python. While I am complete novice to it, I highly recommend the experience of solving a problem using this language. The reason it was joy was because the language lends itself to expressing your exact one thought into one idion as opposed to being strewn into multiple idioms which spoil the integrity of your intent.

Now that I seem to find enough time for myself over the weekends, I was lost for things to do over the weekend. Then I realised that listening to old music, driving aimlessly and devouring some books are things that really balance my personal life(the same old ones but rediscovered after a gap). I have to mention that reading about mythology is always fun because I subscribe to the theory that myths have far more potency than the plain reality of current affairs.

And its been an year since I relocated to the Bay Area from the East Coast. Gosh! It feels like I have been here for more than that (if you are really counting in Dog Years, yeah!) . It was sunny and felt like I was in Mexico when I first came here. Now, We have been under continous onslaught of heavy rains till today and it is supposed to be spring. Here's wishing for the best of this spring.Time to really turn a new leaf green...

Saturday, April 01, 2006

April Fool

April Fool,
Go to School
Tell your teacher that you are a bloody fool.

I learnt that at my elementary school 20 years back and this was a day when you were at you were cautious best and the best day to be paranoid. It served its purpose well and one of the best jokes was that it was a holiday. (Call up a fellow student and say its a holiday because its April 1 and engage him in a serious discussion of how the old nordic/celtic/druid/whatever started their new year today and the romans screwed it up by adding extra months and we have January instead of April, till his head spins in a dizzy and tell him that the school is intent on setting the record straight and hence a holiday just like January 1)

Happy April Fool's Day!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


A deal is at a critical point and people start counting on you as every minute of the clock ticking is a minute taken away from the deal. You are playing the last quarter with 120 seconds left on the table. You play catch up and even down the difference to 1 point but only 40 seconds left. Then you take a shot at a 3 pointer and miss. On rebound your opponent scores a 2 points with 24 seconds left for you to do what you wanna do. You dont wanna miss this time, so you dribble hard and have the normal 2 points. No major surprises here. Clock's at 12 seconds with the opponent controlling the ball. You intercept a pass with god knows what and take possesion of the ball and call timeout. 7 seconds left and you can either shoot or pass.Then you remember your gods (in this case Jordan helps) and at the whistle you dribble a bit and the clock is at 3 seconds when you go for the all-out 3 pointer. You gasp, watch the parabolic trajectory with a bated breath, the ball bounces a bit and then returns to the basket at the end of the game. Phew!!

Someone once said to be succesful you need to give everything you have got and more. I never understood this more better than today. Now I now what it feels like to be under gametime pressure and I am glad I survived one. Its an undescribable exhiliration you feel at the end of it. You feel more alive than you usually do.

As soon as the next game begins, all this exuberance is history but till then its good to be kicking some butt every now and then.

"Quick Watson, The Game's Afoot!"

Thursday, March 23, 2006

The Importance of Delusions

Hmm. I have deluded myself that I will write an email soon to a dear friend, post a new blog, call some folks back home and also keep in touch with somebody. But then I didnt do any of that in the last 2 months or ever since I came back from home.

I have been wondering about the neccisity of delusions in one's life. A mother has to delude herself into thinking that she loves her kids even though the reality might be otherwise and this delusion pays off over time. Abhimanyu did know that he can never come out of the "padmavyuha" alive (because he didnt know the way out) but had to think he can so that he can do his job at the center of it.

Similarly I am deluding myself of certain things. Even though they never might happen, its useful in the sense that it drives me to achieve further more than what I would have done apart from keeping me happy for a while. I think they have a term called "Vantage Point Effect" in psychology. In the end it sounds like Luky Ali's lyrics

"Ho Jaaye to mein raazi Hoon
Kho Jaaye to mein Baaki Hoon
Yu Samajtha hoon"

Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Roodade gum-e-ulfat unke
Hum Kya Kehte, Jo Kar Kehte
Ek Harb na Niklaa Honton Se,'
Aur Aankhon mein Aasoon Aa bhi gaye,

Us Mehfil-e-Kaifo Masti mein
Us Anjuman-e-Irfaani mein
Sab Jaam Bakhat Baithe Hi Rahe
Hum Pi bhi gaye, Chalkha bhi gaye...

I had to get that off my head. All errors in reproducing it are mine (All Wah! Wahs! to Sahir Ludhianvi). Someone once asked me to translate that and I said "learn urdu". Its not to be arrogant or something but some things neccesarily cannot be translated and it offers you a different system view.On a different note seriously wondering how people find time to blog.

Sunday, February 19, 2006


In English August when someone asks Agastya Sen if he was married, he rebuttal was that he was twice married and once to a Norwegian Muslim. The joke was subtle but insightful (Crusades started from the same region and what not..)

I am not a news person but this one caught my eye. I didnt realise the gravity of the situation until someone else updated me the fact there were riots on a large scale and people on both sides hollerring curses and the likes. Hmm... A danish guy just wanted a picture for a children's book and this is what happens. Even the Queen had gotten involved.

Just like the US tried to rename French fries in their recent riffraff with the french, the Iranians decided to do this. Funny that they took the name of a sci-fi project by the same theme which might not augur very well with some folks.

* Begin* Jokes apart, this issue brought to light something that I took for granted. As far as I was raised you didnt need to believe in what is called religion. I was very much supposed to have an idea about it and be aware of the core concepts but belief, no. A recent conversation with someone who majored in the subject told me that Belief in the religion is a very western concept and the ancient eastern ones didnt require one. Quite a powerful thought! *End*

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Wishful Thinking

He went to penance on the ocean floor. If you hold your breath you can do that. Ages came and went by but he was silently lapsing into the first, second, third and the final fourth phase of consciousness. It is said sound travels slowly in water, may be thats why it took so long for the music to reach his ears. Slowly the music reaches a resonating frequency within him and he begans to mentally dance to the tune being played from a far far away source. Then he remembers the time he went into this metempsychosis. It was when Shiva ceased to dance.

Whats different now? He is almost about to give up. Then a sudden realisation dawns upon him that Shiva never danced to begin with. It was us, the subjects that were dancing around an ever static, never moving absolute form of truth. Its our own perception moving around this absolutely anonymous concept that makes it seem like shiva danced. After a while there is no Shiva and of course, no dance.

Shiva know no Bhangra
Nor the Punjabi Rap!
But he’s a divine dancer
Who never takes a nap!

And if for the single trillionth of a second
Shiva ceased to dance

All the world’s great cities would quiver
On a knife-edge of chance

Every star in the universe would
Cease to burn

Neither sun nor earth
Would turn

Matter grow
So dense

So intense
The dark

That your


On a windless night
In the lap of the sea...
When Shiva sleeps
You will know eternity...

-The Third Eye written for Stephen Hawking by Rukmini Bhaya Nair


Wednesday, February 15, 2006


14 February! Valentine's day as some call it but its a baneful day for literary enthusiasts. It was on this day 1989 that Salman Rushdie was issued a fatwa.But thats not what I want to talk about.

I want to talk about the author of these lines

"Unlike the male codfish, which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the British aristocracy is apt to look with a somewhat jaundiced eye on its younger sons."
(Lord Emsworth thinking about his son Freddie)

Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (also a Doctor should be prefixed methinks) died on this day 1975 and incidentally he died with a manuscript on his lap. My very first work of the master was "Sunset at Blandings" which was his last penned. Homage to you my dear sir. The world definitely would have been a duller place had it not been for your works. And you didnt need to be so profilic as well. Just a couple of your works are enough to ensure immortality but then ...

Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Meeting with the Acquaintance

He has kept to himself without being in touch with his old acquaintances ever since he went down the hill much like jack (and no jill to tumble down with him). So he woke up and went to get some fresh produce when he ran into this old acquaintance at the grocery shop.I went to him

"K! Do you remember me"

"P! How the hell can I forget you?"

"You realise that its been 6 years since I saw you and 5 since I spoke to you"

"Yeah! Yeah!"

Meanwhile another woman closes in and P instantly recognises her but searched his memory for her name and says

"How are you SL?"

"I am doing good except that I am not SL but SP.."

"Ah! Those cobwebs needed clearance anyways.Sorry about that."

Meanwhile K interrupts holding an infant .

"Say Hi to Uncle P. This is my dauther R"

Gosh! P and K and SP all went to same grad school and in fact P,K and SP were all dorm mates at some point of time. Everyone knew everyone for a period of six months.

K starts " I heard about your adventures in wonderland and all that hullaballooo. So how the heck are you keeping up"

"Hanging in there.Nothing much to cheer about but then nothing much to get depressed either."

Two old folks come join this nice meeting blocking other fellas at the grocery store. K introduces the folks saying they are his parents. The old man adjusts his glasses to take a good look at P and says

"Where are your kids?"

"Excuse Me.(They are in the future tense and unless we break the speed of light I cannot show it to you sir.) ..Sorry.. I am not yet married sir!"

"You should do this asap!"

"I understand sir but you must realize anyone in their right mind would not give me their girl and smart girls would run away without knowing me."

A puzzled look dawns upon the old man as he was trying to parse the meaning of the earlier statement. K jumps in to help by saying P is always like that, talking about such matters in a very light, deprecating and often mildly cynical. This resolved the expression of the old man to his normal brows.

Then we decided to shop together. Now that we got other people busy with shopping K takes P aside. P can almost hear the track "Poles Apart" being played in the background as an appropriate metaphor

Did you was all going to go so wrong for you
And did you see (did you know...did you know...) it was all going be so right for me
Why did we tell you then
You were always the golden boy then
And that you'd never lose that light in your eyes

SP then politely asked him to join for dinner the next weekend. P breaks in

"I am sorry that I was pretty mean to you those days"

"Yes! You were but then you had more compensating qualities to make up for it"

"Thanks. I take it as a sign that you forgave me"

K comes in after renting out some casettes saying P should definitely make it to visit as there is a lot to catch upon. P agrees to the deal and they part with good byes.

P comes home and thinks of how much water flowed beneath the bridge. P and K were roomies who were later joined by SP because theirs was the only house in the locality that had both girls and boys living under the same roof.
P was very new to the country and has been the first battle with some hard truths to the fellows' dearest That was a time when he exactly felt like the song "distance"
Reluctantly crouched at the starting line, Engines pumping and thumping in time. The green light flashes, the flags goes up, Churning and burning, they yern for the cup. They deftly manouver and muscle for rank, Fuel burning fast on an empty tank, Wreckless and wild they pour thru the turns, Their prowless is podent and secretly stern. As they speed thru the finish the flags go down. The fans get up, and get out of town. The arena is empty except for one man, Still driving and striving as fast as he can The sun has gone down and the moon has come up, And long ago somebody left with the cup, But he's driving and striving and hugging the turns, And thinking of someone for whom he still burns. He's going the distance. He's going for speed. She's all alone, all alone in her time of need. Because he's racing and pacing and plotting the course, He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse. He's going the distance. Yeah! No trophy, no flowers, no flash bulbs, no wine. He's haunted by something he cannot define. Bowel shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse, Assail him, impale him with monster truck force. In his mind he's still driving, still making the grade. She's hoping time that her memories will fade, Cause he's racing and pacing and plotting the course, He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse. The sun has gone down and the moon has come up, And long ago somebody left with the cup. But he's striving and driving and hugging the turns, And thinking of someone for whom he still burns. Cause he's going the distance. He's going for speed. She's all alone, all alone in her time of need. Because he's racing and pacing and plotting the course, He's figting and biting and riding on his horse, He's racing and pacing and plotting the course, He's figting and biting and riding on his horse! He's going the distance. He's going for speed. He's going the distance...
Seems like the distance has been covered but the speed almost killed him and took down a couple of folks. Still Yet, He thinks of going atleast 57.7% the velocity of light sometime in the future :)

Saturday, February 04, 2006


Need to watch each and every one of these flicks. It seems like the theme of this list is New York