July 4 Required Reading

I just finished reading The Politically Correct Guide to American History which is a satirical look at the modern day non-offending, all inclusive, relativist society that we live in. Here's the revisionist text of the declaration as viewed through such a lens :)

We hold these truths - relatively speaking, and recognizing that the truth is always somewhere in the middle - to be self-evident: That all members of all species are created equal, from spotted owls to boa constrictors; that they are endowed by creation with certain lefts that should never be denied nannies and other undocumented workers; that among these are life, security, absence of risk, equality of results, and the pursuit of self-actualization and peak experiences.

So, grill your burgers and hot dogs while consuming lots of beer and celebrate the fireworks alongside your neighbors' kids. That's freedom and the pursuit of happiness as we know on July 4.