Sunday, January 21, 2007

The Importance of Support

It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something
Thats how the movie Crash opens and I think it makes sense. This week had its own share of follies that life offers but suddenly I thought how important was support structure for people in general. Yeah! Software support might be one of them but thats not what I was thinking of..

The best way to give up smoking and stay there is by forming a support initiative like that of quitnet. Because people tend to lapse back this group helps identify causes and offer support in terms of actionable advice to relax and stay nicotine-free. Similarly way back in 1999, one of my friends' bro was missing and his mom calls up around 10 pm saying this guys is MIA. I call upon another friend who has a vehicle and we go around places to find out this guy who isnt found anyways and we couldnt get back to his mom saying we failed. We had no clue where he is finding support better than his family, might have been his friends but we dont know them.

Later, when someone else breaksdown, I get a call and I am not sure what to do because I dont have a context and all I hear is sobs. Figuring that the persons' so-called friends (you never know who are the real ones and who are simply acquaintances) would know better I beg them to talk to this person. Not one call was made and this person now is a borderline cynic (the last I checked he wasnt a full time cynic)

A little later when I was in Washington DC a person begged me for money and a lighter when I was waiting for someone to show up. I give him what I have and my light at which point he says "You restored my faith in humanity". Agreed there is a chemical imbalance in that persons' head, but the problem was he was so strung out on the edge and so disillusioned that no one is going to help him, he consider a few pennies and a light to be a restoration of faith.

Just a couple of days back, another friends' spouse calls upon and says she doesnt wanna do what my friend was kind of imposing on her. Now, this guy was in another country and the woman gets very stressed out with those thoughts that she runs into an accident. I called him up yesterday and told him the state of things. He said he wouldnt mind if she let him know about that in the first place.

Sometimes a simple acknowledgement does the trick. A good friend doesnt need another person to complain about the health. For example a while back someone just wrote the following lines which made me feel better.The fact that someone halfway is picking up your mood is something commendable..

How are you bearing up? and you really should stop thinking of it as a cross...

Bottomline: I think there are certain points where an inevitable breakdown/depression sets in where it is extremely critical that someone can support those folks helps a person (indirectly the community) to stay healthy and not turn to be extremely cynical of things. Somehow the timing is all that matters because a day later, people wouldnt need any support as their mind is kind of made up. Of course there is a fine line, sometimes such situations help people become stronger and what not but most folks could use some external help.Just an inane observation.


the saint said...

the world is round - what you send out to others - eventually comes back to you.

Keep rocking!

Paddy said...

haha. I just wished it always worked..welcome to my lair..btw for the record this is your first comment on my blog.

the saint said...

nopes - i have commented before - check your posts