Tuesday, October 02, 2007

When the Tigers Broke Free...

If I were way younger than I was I would have been writing "Once in an year there comes a day thats yours and yours alone.." and all that jazz which is a sign of a fertile young imagination not tempered by shall-we-say "dose of reality". Not anymore. Recently we had Yom Kippur passing on us. Even people who arent orthodox do celebrate this one festival where they are supposed to brood over the actions of the last year and make atonements as appropriately deemed by your thoughts. I totally loved the concept. Today is the day I declare my Yom Kippur, you can as well do the same on any day you choose. Nope, it's got nothing to do with Gandhi albeit the relation seems well defined that way as well.

Who what am I? My answer: I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me.I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I've gone which would not have happened if I had not come.Nor am I particularly exceptional in this matter; each "I",every one of us,contains a similar multitude.

-Salman Rusdhie, Midnights Children

Now for the part of my atonement. Before atonement, a reflection is needed and for that a little introspection is needed which basically needs examination of your reality from a third party perspective. I told you this was heady stuff.I apologize to all those who have been offended by me in the last one year for a start.(the last I knew this count was zero but anyhow why take chances?)

I used to like things, now I just get used to them. I used to crave for a rush; have been there done it way too many times. Used to feel good about an ego boost: but when you are the company and the company is you (much in the vein of "Indira is India, India is Indira") you suddenly realize it isnt worth that much (of course this is only known once you are over the hill not when you are climbing it, at which point it looks tantalisingly attractive like an aphrodisiac). At one point I used to think Socialism was an organized way of partying, but now I grow weary of both ideas. Have been a ardent believer of beer and now I skip to wine. Used to smoke Marlboros and now I just choose a Montecristos if I really wanna have a good time (please add a glass of cognac to savor the taste). Felt that Investment Banking was cool, now I realise they are a bunch of paper pushing airheads.Technology stuff used to be the cutting edge and now I think they are merely a support function that serves a larger objective. Also believed in Free Will and currently I completely forsake that idea's existence. Can go on like this, but you get the idea or should I say the flaver (with a coromandel accent)?

Before you mistake my earlier statements as resignation, let me tell you that this is good thing. Having a zen-like attitude to things makes day-to-day issues far more chilled out than otherwise.I believe this is what they call something like "wise" or "mature" or one of those things where you have a sense of discretion (which I lacked before).

On a different note, Thank Goodness for a lot of things. People with humble origins like mine have a lot to be thankful for (mostly for the opportunities not neccesarily the outcomes). Things can be far worse than they are right now but I am grateful for all the people who have been there (C'mon, you know who you are:). Its been a great year and given the current scenario I must say the future looks rosy for another year till another day of atonement. I have apologized to those I should and people who wanted to rejoice with me already called. What more can one ask from life.Amen!

Speaking of which, its my tradition every year to read one story where a person triumphs death (last year was Savitri,before last year was Dhruva) and this year it is the legendary Nachiketas

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