Thursday, September 23, 2004

Depression

"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life,when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about." - Einstein

The above statement seems to be true in my case.I do have the comfort and luxury needed for a person of my stature.These days I am chronically depressed and irritated at the same time.I am depressed I dont have anything in my pipeline or around me that I am enthusiastic about.I am irritated because I am unable to adapt to the changing environment around me.Growing up does not seem to be my cup of tea.I have a hard time accepting some things that routinely gets accepted in the workplace.I cannot stand two traffic jams (one to work,one to school)

I am seeking desperately some change to be brought about in my life.Something that could excite me or atleast engage me.Something that makes me feel Alive. People like me get bored too easily.I have to slow down and breathe in.I got to regenrate myself.Somehow this seems more difficult this time (I do this routinely and probably jinxed myself by bragging about it recently!)

I think probably in the next fornight something might light up my days.I can do this.I can bounce back.I can get back my groove and in fact I was told I am not losing my edge but rather becoming too sharp.Enough said.For the moment I console myself with these Alan Parson's lyrics :

"I know the truthBut I can't sayAnd I have to turn my headAnd look the other way

I'm not afraid And I won't lie, As long as I see no wrongI won't need to testify

I breathe the air While they're running in a rat race

Way above it allStanding on higher ground

I feel the blowBut I don't speak

And I have to close my eyes Pretending I'm asleep

Well I see the tears But I don't cry As long as I do no wrong I don't need an alibi

I see the world And I'm looking from a high place

Way above it allStanding on higher ground"

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought your colleague gave a solution for this. Like
getting married. I think so too. At this heights of depression, get married and make some kids and you will be in whole different loop. One way there will be lot to cherish and on other way you will be more compelled to concentrate on work...think about it...

Geetanjali said...

Hey Paddy - thx for that comment on my blog! It feels so nice to get support from ppl I don't know - comforting to know there r nice ppl out there!

You are right - so many of us seem to be sailing in the same boat. But I beg to disagree with your friend, who thinks marriage is the solution. Jumping into matrimony to solve other probs sometimes creates new ones - if what you're looking is not matrimony, then you'd just end up in deeper shit than before. Loneliness and the need for exciting challenges in life doesn't necessarily translate into a subconscious desire to settle down in the house with the white picket fences!

Anonymous said...

Geetanjali is very correct in general aspects. But the suggestion was made by one who knows him very well and been observing him from quite sometime. I still think this should help him get back on track rather than make him lost in his own self.

Paddy said...

Hmmm.Anonymous One..Would you please step forward.
If your suggestion is correct AND if you are a girl (Which I dont think you are) we could consider something.

Currently the problem I see is that of ineptness in dealing with complexity and marriage will only increase it.While you may be correct in that it might solve some issues, I am not sure I want to go that route.

I can go to so many places(metaphorically speaking) like this but I always ask myself the question "Is this somewhere I wanna go?".The reason for this is because so many people end up doing what they are doing just by sheer chance(and of course taking the easier route).

I wait for my Catharsis. Remember to be born again you need to die first.

Anonymous said...

Well...I don't think my gender or my being matters in this regard. I am advising you as a friend. It is up to you to decide what to do with YOUR life.

Rajasekhar said...

Take a fall break. Go out west on I-66 to Shenandoah instead of 495 and the mess. Surely the colours will lift your spirit. Get back to nature!!